One of the wonderful feelings in this world is to love and be loved back by the person who has caused a magical stir in your life. But what if you’re among those unfortunate souls whose love was not requited?
What if you’ve been waiting for your prince charming, all this time, only to find out that your prince charming is also waiting for his prince charming? Whatever are the odds, the rejection is sure to be painful. So before you lose yourself and waste all your tears for your rejected feelings, try doing the following to help you get back on your feet.
Here are 10 tips on how to be freed from the closet of being gayzoned:
- 1. Stop being bitter.
Saying nasty things towards the person will not make you any better. Worst it will not make you win him/her. It will just prove that you really do not deserve his/her love neither his/her friendship. Yes, you are angry that he/she cannot possible love you the way you want him/her to love you. But your anger will just make you feel bad and will lead you to making futile actions that later on will just make you regret.
Remember that your bitterness will get you nowhere. So stop cursing him/her or anything that reminds you of what happened. Shut your mouth and give yourself a good and hard cry to let out all the pain instead of posting unnecessary comments in your Facebook wall.
- 2. Stop pushing yourself to the person.
You think, him/her being gay is just a joke? Or just a momentary lapse of judgment or short term gender crisis? That you hope one morning you will wake up and he/she will be the man/woman that you want him/her to be? That is why you try to make advances in the hope that he/she will change the way he/she perceives himself/herself. Well think again.
Being nude in front of the person will not arouse him/her. He/she will just pity you on your irrational actions. So better stop pushing yourself to him/her, because in the end it will only be you, who will get hurt the most.
- 3. Accept it. Accept him.
I know it is hard to move on and get over with that person you love. You may have prayed many times just to wish that one day he/she will change. But it is not your life to change. The best thing for you to do is to accept the fact that he/she is gay and that he/she will not be able to give the love that you want. Acceptance is the first step of moving on.
- 4. Think of him as a friend instead of a lover
Let us be clear on this. The rejection that you felt is the rejection for the feelings he/she cannot give to you. This does not mean that he/she cannot be a good friend to you. Friendship is the best thing that he/she can offer. Accept it. For friendship is a gift.
- 5. Respect him
It is not his/her intention to be this way. For sure he went to a difficult time thinking about everything. He/She may have cursed himself/herself million times for being someone he/she does not intended to be. Perhaps it even took him/her years to finally accept the things that will make him/her truly happy. And for this, the best thing that you can do is to respect that person. Respect him/her as a person and respect the decision and he/she has chosen.
- 6. Stop showing you are lonely
As a friend he/she will feel the loneliness too and will be worried about you. He/She will be guilty for something that he/she did not intend to do. And you will be both miserable for this in the end. Sadness is inevitable but misery is a choice.
- 7. Love yourself instead
Loving a gay person is not the last thing that you can do. After giving a part of yourself to that person it is only right to retrieve what was gone. Instead of feeling dumped, rejected or bad about yourself, try to be happy and focus your energy in improving yourself. One of the best solutions for heartbreaks is to loving oneself.
- 8. Stop asking favors or accepting favors from him/her
Moving on will be hard if you continue asking him/her for favors. It will just make you fall more. There might be things that you can’t do without him, and asking him/her favors may not be a big deal, however you should be ready with the consequences of what you are doing.
- 9. Try to divert yourself to other things
Keep your mind occupied so no memories of what happened will linger in your mind. Make yourself busy. Engage in different activities that will make you forget everything and will instead promote your well-being.
- 10 Talk to your ghost and settle your feelings to the person
Close the deal by talking to that person. Try to convey your feeling for him/her. It is not wrong to love a person. However we cannot expect that that person will love us back. The best thing to do is show your appreciation to the person and stop asking something in return. Don’t run. Face your ghost. By doing this, you are not just helping yourself but you are also helping him/her deal with the unintended rejection.
We all have our own stories of heartbreaks. All of these have inflicted pain on us. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. But this does not mean the end. The end is always the beginning for something new. Rejections whether from being dumped, frienzoned or gayzoned, are opportunities to move on and take a new start.