Coping with breakups? Been there, done that, and still it surprises me how some people deal with it. You’d think a couple of sad songs, sad movies, a box full of your favorite chocolate, would be enough to get you through the week (or in some cases, the night!). Apparently not, because I do have friends who have been through this crap and have more experience when it comes to broken hearts. And so like any writer and researcher, I asked around.
And it doesn’t stop there. There are different, and unusual ways when it comes to coping with breakups. Aside from my friends’ stories, they were generous enough to tell me about their friend’s story, or cousins, or relatives twice removed. It seems that breakups is still a “trend” and it’s not going away any time soon.
What does this tell us? That people never learn? That they enjoy having their hearts broken? That they need help because this is totally twisted and HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE LIKE THIS FOR HEAVEN”S SAKE?
Okay, first off, who are we to judge. Admit, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had our share of pity parties and calorie fests and thinking that alcohol is our best friend during this tragic time. But other people do have their ways of dealing with such – tragic – events. And here’s what I’ve learned so far:
1. F— ’till you drop!
Before you go “men, typical,” let’s not be quick to judge. Women are just as guilty about this. Most of us were sexually active when we were in a relationship then all of a sudden we go cold turkey. And being humans, we miss the heat and passion that happens in the bedroom. And so some of us (take note, “SOME” of us, I’m not naming names!) would seek – companionship. Even if it means it’s just a one night stand.
2. Shop ’till you drop
Shopping is the cardio of most women. During a breakup, most women (myself included), wouldn’t mind hitting the stores in the hopes of forgetting our sorrows. Who doesn’t feel better after finding the perfect pair of shoes or finding a bargain and getting this and that! Yes, we shouldn’t rely on material things for our happiness. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
3. The Jetsetter
If you don’t want to mope around all day then get out and go somewhere. I know a friend of mine who went to Singapore with her sister because she got fed up staying at home and thinking about her ex. Good for her and good for me because she bought lots of chocolates and was generous enough to share!
4. Yoga/fitness/meditation therapy
Or whatever you call it. For some women, yoga can relieve stress. I personally think it’s dangerous and would rather stick to the treadmill. But for some women, yoga helps them find their inner self once more.
5. The date machine
When men are coping with a breakup, would they rather a:) play video games, b:) cry, or c:) find the hottest chick and start dating again. Mostly it’s c. While video games seem fun that’s not how my friends say they would spend their breakup days. Once the numbness and pain starts to reside, they’re on the lookout for fresh meat.
6. Games and puzzles
Okay, one of my friend’s friend has this habit of putting together jigsaw puzzles when she’s coping with a breakup. Sounds weird and when I asked her why her friend does it, she simply “it keeps her occupied.” Makes sense, I guess. Jigsaw puzzles take hours and it’s a challenge, especially if you give yourself a deadline like “this has to be finished no later than 3pm Friday.”
7. Go gaga over some hot celebrity
Just because I’m in my thirties doesn’t mean that I’m too old for celebrity crushes. I remember during my breakup days, I would imagine that my boyfriend were either Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, Jensen Ackles or Jared Padalecki (yes, I’m a Supernatural fan). And I’m their one and only and my ex dropped dead (literally) because I’m with these celebrity hotties.
8. Murder she wrote
A friend of mine is a bit – morbid – when it came with dealing with breakups. The sad part is that I’m also guilty of it. It’s when I hurt the most and can’t help imagining how to “get rid” of my ex. My friend’s idea of getting of her ex is using head clippers – the dull ones. As for me, I imagined being a witch and cursing him and giving him a vagina, get him raped, crash his car, and then I’ll get nasty. Morbid yes, but it’s just a fantasy.
9. Clean up on aisle 7!
When we break up, there are still trinkets that our ex leaves behind. My friend says that when he breaks up with a girl, it’s time to clean house. Goodbye birthday present, goodbye first anniversary present, goodbye pink lacey underwear that for some reason got under the bed. Hey, if you want to forget your ex then it makes sense to clear the house of memories.
I’m not talking about running for miles to stay in shape. I’m talking about playing your favorite movies or TV shows and forget about your heartaches. For me, it’s either Supernatural or The Mentalist. Sometimes, I put on Fast and the Furious. What I DON’T watch are sappy romantic movies because 1) I hate those movies and 2) I’m trying to forget I’m mourning!
Whew! That’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? Who would have thought people have different ways of coping with breakups? But hey, we’re not done yet! There’s more to come.