COMMENTARY| The Oneida Indian Nation unveiled the new website ChangeTheMascot.org on Monday. The move comes mere days after President Barack Obama felt if he owned the Washington Redskins, he’d consider changing the name. It appears the Washington franchise of the NFL may soon take a hard look at changing a potentially divisive name, according to columnist Mike Wise of the Washington Post.
Here are some suggestions for owner Dan Snyder.
Washington Warmongers
If the past 100 years are indication, America gets itself into more wars than ever. Dating back to the 1770s, the United States seems to be at war with Britain, Indians, Mexicans, Spanish, Germans, Vietnamese, Iraqis, Afghanis and terrorists. Plus, fans can’t go wrong with catchy alliteration.
Capital Punishments
Why not go from one controversial topic to another? Crimes against Native Americans can be replaced with crimes against humanity that deserve the death penalty. Other controversial political topics can be put on display with names like the Arlington Abortions, Beltway Border Patrol, National Defense, Federal Farce, Capital Crimes, Georgetown Gridlox, DC Deficits, Bethesda Budgethounds, and the Silver Spring Stalemates.
Federal Follies
Washington has just six winning seasons and three playoff victories since its last Super Bowl in 1991. This year, the team is just 1-3 and likely destined for ineptitude despite having Robert Griffin III at quarterback. Close behind the Federal Follies is the Landover Losers. The glory days of the 1980s are gone, so the divisive nickname should go as well.
Washington Senators
On a serious note, the Washington Senators were DC’s original pro sports team back in the late 1800s when baseball was America’s only pro sport played to large crowds. Perhaps a return to tradition is warranted here. The Landover Liberty, Capital Constitutions and Federal Freedoms also come to mind. In a nod to the now-defunct USFL, how about the Washington Federals?
Maryland Muckrakers
Instead of Washington, go for a state name like the Maryland Muckrakers or Virginia Vandals? Going with a state name instead of a city would make the Washington-based franchise more unique among NFL teams such as the Tennessee Titans.
William Browning writes sports and politics on the Yahoo! Contributor Network.
