China’s told them to not to be troublemakers and even Fidel Castro has warned them recently to tread lightly. It just seems like, no matter what they’re told, North Korea wishes to rebel against the world. Instead of worrying about potentially unleashing nuclear missiles upon the Sea of Japan in the near future, perhaps North Korean leader Kim Jong Un should listen to the five history-making pop songs below. Who knows, maybe they could help him retool his mindset for the better.
1. “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” – War (1975)
The titular track of War’s famous 1975 effort could just be the ticket for Kim Jong Un to realize that he’s been doing it wrong the whole time. Why even think of detonating nuclear weapons when you could be busy making friends in the world and being loved by everyone? Isn’t that what you’d want, as a world leader? Truly, who doesn’t want to be admired by the likes of Barack Obama, Queen Elizabeth II, and maybe even Tim Tebow? Your favorite band can be War, Kim Jong, but not your favorite pastime! Oh, despotic logic can be so funny.
2. “Gangnam Style” – PSY (2012)
North Korea’s sworn arch-nemesis is its border buddy, South Korea, right? Chances are Mr. Supreme Leader has heard of “Gangnam Style”, but hasn’t given it much of a chance thanks to its southern origins. Perhaps if Kim Jong Un were to give PSY’s world-famous single a listen, he would realize that South Korea isn’t so bad after all and call all of this silly nuclear stuff off.
3. “Starships” – Nicki Minaj (2012)
Kim Jong Un simply needs to see that it’s starships that are meant to fly, not nuclear missiles.
4. “As Time Goes By” – “Sam” Dooley Wilson (1942)
Perhaps the North Korean leader is actually a fan of classic American pop songs. Even if he weren’t, the undeniably sentimental charm of Dooley Wilson’s classic “Casablanca” performance would certainly change his mind about the jazzy historical genre. Once he realizes that a kiss is just a kiss and a sigh is just a sigh, maybe he’ll realize that a nuclear missile is just a nuclear missile and henceforth a weapon of mass destruction that would cast him in a horrible light if ever detonated, so he’d get rid of it.
5. “Beauty and a Beat” – Justin Bieber (2012)
Songs that at least incorporate Nicki Minaj as a featured artist can apparently tickle Kim Jong Un silly. Perhaps the Bieber-fronted “Beauty and a Beat” featuring the flamboyant rapper can prove even more effective than her own “Starships”. Good ol’ Kim Jong can finally realize that all he needs in life are a beauty and a beat: a musical beat, that is. So, he could end up hooking up with a beautiful woman and settle down at a villa in the countryside instead of setting off those nasty warheads- but not before setting his iPod to play through this whole list at the highest bass setting and dancing the night away with his newfound beauty to that sweet beat.
