5 Things to Never Say to a Single Woman
If you’re single I’m sure you’ve heard the following OR maybe you’re the guilty party and you’ve said the following to a single woman… (tsk tsk tsk , don’t worry we forgive you)
1. What are you waiting for; you’re not getting any younger?
Unless this person is waiting in line this question is NOT appropriate. Whether it is said out of genuine concern or not, it can be insulting. So, if this is not your intention do not ask this question to your single friends (men are asked this question too). My general response every time has been sarcastic, “I’m sorry, the ‘Man Store’ was closed so I couldn’t get one.” If you love your friend please don’t make them go all defensive and sarcastic on you.
2. Are you going to wait for all of your eggs to go bad?
There is just no right way to say this and there definitely is no correct way to hear this. As a woman, reproduction and reproductive organs are sacred and a sensitive topic- they are not to be used to guilt trip or to encourage her into dating. The usually effect of being asked this question is one of two things: (1) a defense stronger than the NY Jets …this season or (2) hurt feelings and frustration. In actuality, I’d dare to say both effects manifest themselves one after the other. Last we checked our organs didn’t come with timepieces.
3. You’re too picky; maybe you should lower some of your standards.
This statement should NEVER be uttered by anyone to anyone. If the point you want to make is “realism” say that, “You should be realistic in your criteria.” A statement like that one will not completely annoy or put your friend in defensive mode- it is both clear and helpful. We’ve all made lists and at some point realized the person described on paper has yet to exist; BUT bringing realistic points to the table will help the ‘single and searching’ person tweak their criteria as well as improve themselves so that they also match what they want in a mate. So, before you speak think about whether it will help or hurt.
4. I never see you with any men, are you a lesbian?
I have personally gotten upset at this question. Why? Because the question almost never comes from genuine concern rather a sarcastic joke only to be followed up by question number 1. Truth is some women are private, shy or have decided to not actively pursue romantic relationships opting to wait for romance to find them. Call it fairytale, call it whimsical but whatever you do don’t call out a question on her sexuality- it is just plain rude.
5. Have you tried online dating?
You’re trying to help and that’s really sweet of you but this question just makes us feel desperate. No, people who find love through online sources are not desperate but when this option is suggested after the ‘single and searching’ has told you about their last romantic fail- it screams DESPERATE. Almost as though you’re saying ‘well, nothing else is working for you, just give up and try to type your way to love.’ Please don’t do this to your friend, unless he/she brings it up first. Oh and FYI, don’t reinforce how great their personality is either (at least not right now). Instead reinforce their confidence by complimenting their appearance, yes normally it would be shallow but in some instances its necessary, like now!