Hello ladies, now that I am in a successful long term relationship that started from a dating site (match.com) I would like to offer a guy’s perspective as to what’s wrong (or right!) with your online dating profile.
As a guy that lives in a small town and isn’t really into the bar scene, online dating was one of the few reasonable ways I had to meet women. I’ve probably scoured thousands of profiles over the past ten years and have compiled a list of things that make me skip over a woman’s online dating profile and move onto the next one.
- Not Having a Picture: It’s a dating website, how can’t you not have a picture? It still amazes me that some women don’t have pictures. Looks do matter and anyone that says otherwise isn’t being honest. Looks aren’t the only thing that matter, but they do matter. Back when I was single, I rarely met anyone that didn’t have a picture. The few times I did the woman said “Trust me, you won’t be disappointed”, and every time I was disappointed. If they would have had a picture I wouldn’t have wasted all that time and energy meeting someone I wasn’t attracted to. Physical attraction is a very important part of a successful relationship, so put up a picture already!
- Using an Old Picture: Men don’t care what you looked like in 2006. We care about what you look like in the present. Would you rather put up an accurate picture and hope for the best or put up an old picture, go through the trouble of talking on the phone a few times, meeting up, and the guy not liking you because you look nothing like your picture? I’d go with A. It’s less time consuming and less disappointing to both parties involved.
- Having a Cliched Headline: If I see “Live, Laugh, Love” one more time I’m going to jump off something really high. I am also not a big fan of “I work hard and play harder”. Really? You play harder than you work? That can’t possibly be a good thing. I’m all for cutting loose and having a good time, but if a girl is telling me from the get go that she plays harder than she works then it makes me wonder who she’s playing with. Wow, got a little off topic there. Have something snappy and unique for your headline. Makes you stand out from the “Live, Laugh, Love” crowd. Men love to laugh. Say something witty and we’re yours.
- Says She Has The Most Amazing Dog: Unless your dog tells jokes and can be the occasional designated driver, then your dog isn’t really all that amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. But your dog probably isn’t anymore amazing than any other dog on the planet.
- Says She’s Not Like Other Girls: Then lists things that every other girl on the planet enjoys. “I’m not like other girls, I like to have fun.” or “I love to laugh!” (does anyone hate laughing?). “I love music.” Other girls like that stuff too! Just saying you are unique does not make you unique. Use your profile to explain why you are different.
- Puts No Effort Into Her Profile: Nothing turns a guy off quicker than a short profile that says “I don’t really feel like writing, just ask me if you want to get to know me better.” If a girl can’t take the time to write a halfway decent profile is she going to take the time to make a relationship work?
- Spends Her Entire Profile Telling The Guy What He Needs To Be: I already know what I am. I’m clicking on your profile to find out about you! It’s nice to say what you are looking for in a mate, but keep it somewhat brief. The bulk of your profile should be about you so the guy can tell if he’s interested in getting to know you more. Just like you can go to a guy’s profile and see if you are interested in getting to know him.
- Small Distance Requirement: If you’re not willing to travel more than five miles to see someone then you probably shouldn’t be on a dating site in the first place. Relationships are work. The great ones don’t feel like it though. I had a girl reject me because I was twenty-five minutes away. It’s two years later and she’s still single in case anyone is wondering. Personally, I don’t think a half hour is too far to drive to meet your potential soul mate.
Mainly just be honest and you will probably stand out. No one is you. So by being you, you are pretty much assuring that you will be unique. What I loved about my girlfriend’s profile, aside from the fact that she was really pretty, is that she had a great sense of humor that really came out in her profile. Guys love a funny girl. I know I certainly do. Pretty much every relationship I had prior to her I was supplying about 95 percent of the humor. It gets tiring. So I am truly blessed to be with someone that can make me laugh almost as much as I make her laugh.
And lastly ladies, I would like to offer one more bit of advice; Stay away from the “free” dating sites! You get what you pay for, and do you really want to date a guy that is too cheap put $30 into meeting you? If finding the love of his life isn’t worth a few bucks to him, then he’s probably just looking to hook up. Don’t waste your time. You’re better than that.
Happy Hunting Ladies!