Both men and women can be victims of domestic abuse . Battering happens in all nations, cultures and economic classes. If you are past the age of 21 (or whatever the age of becoming a legal adult is for your country) then no one can force you out of a relationship. It is up to you to determine if you are a victim of domestic violence.
Does My Partner Need Me Too Much?
Perhaps your partner does not leave you with clearly obvious signs such as broken bones, burns and a bloody face. Domestic abuse can be far more subtle. Abusers need their victims so they usually do not do anything too drastic too fast before they have the victim under their thumbs. If you are unsure whether you are being abused, ask yourself these questions.
When Was The Last Time I Got A Good Night’s Sleep?
When victims are able to think clearly, they know they are being abused. This is sometimes when the victim leaves. In order to keep a victim from thinking clearly, the abuser does all he or she can to keep the victim drowsy and disoriented from lack of sleep. This can manifest in the abuser taking all of the bedclothes off of the victim, waking up the victim constantly or insisting the victim stay in the same bedroom, even if the abuser snores so badly that the victim has no chance of sleeping.
When Did I Last Visit Anyone?
Abusers are often highly jealous and possessive. They need to know where their victims are every minute of the day and who they are with. Abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family. In this way, the friends and family can’t alert the victim of his or her predicament. The abuser convinces the victim that others are conspiring against their love. The abuser may also say things such as, “If you really loved me, then you would give up seeing your friend.”
Where Are My Most Prized Possessions?
Abusers will often steal or destroy all or most of their victims’ possessions. Possessions may be swapped or sold, but often they are just burned, stomped, trashed or run over with a vehicle. This could be jewelry, money, property or even such intimate things as makeup, photographs or childhood mementos. This eventually extends to killing household plants or pets. But before it gets that far, ask yourself if your possessions are being taken away from you.
Am I Scared of Going Home?
Whether you are scared of an argument, of icy silence, of coming home to a trashed house or to a beating, you should never be scared of anyone living in your home. It does not matter who actually owns the property. If the thought of the partner not coming home for one night gives you relief, you are being abused. It’s time to leave and leave immediately. If you are unsure where to go, ask your doctor or go to the police for help. You can also use a public library’s computer to look up domestic abuse shelters and hotlines. Do not use your home computer or any Internet capable device you share with your partner in case your partner is checking your search history.
Author used to be a victim of domestic violence.