Do you sometimes feel like a human punching bag? It is so hard to gain respect from others. You are giving and giving and receiving nothing in return for all your hard work. Do your boss and family belittle you and make you feel worthless. Then it sounds like you may have characteristics of a person with codependency. According to the article “Symptoms of Codependency,” if it is left untreated then the symptoms can continually worsen.
Feeling tired: You work long hours at work. You do all the cooking and cleaning around the house. You are always put in charge of community events at church. You are the go to person for everyone who has an issue. It is no wonder you are exhausted. Speaking up and setting boundaries for you could be very beneficial. It is a necessity that you start delegating some of these responsibilities or you will continue to be stressed out and possibly have health problems occur.
Giving more than receiving: Are you currently in a caregiving job such as a teacher, nurse, social worker? Do you like to feel needed? Helping others give you a sense of worth. It is good to help others, but it is not satisfactory to deny our own needs in helping others. You are not giving your best self if you are gave out. Do you sometimes feel like others owe you? It’s like at Christmas time, you give a gift and expect one back – you are doing everything in the relationship without reciprocation. Stop. Just simply stop giving to others and start giving back to yourself. There is nothing selfish about taking care of self. You deserve it.
Feelings of anger and resentment: Do you take on more that you can chew? Saying no can be difficult especially if the person asking a request is a boss or an authority figure. But saying no does not mean that you are being rude or are incapable of task, it simply means that you are setting a boundary and you know your limits. If you consistently do, do, and do things against your better judgment, you will grow resentment towards them. And within resentment lies anger. You may become angry towards this person for violating your personal space – which I will remind – you allowed yourself to be treated this way. You teach people how to treat you. So in making healthy decisions and setting healthy boundaries, you will be an overall happier person.
Questioning your identity: Are you having a hard time deciding who you are? Have you become so intertwined with a certain person that you start to act alike? You have taken on their beliefs, mannerisms, and even talking like them. You may have a hard time deciding on a career because the individuals around you have fogged your head. Take some quiet time to really think things through. Find your true calling and get in touch with yourself. You will be much happier and fulfilled. It will help you identify and become aware of codependency better and lead to healing yourself.
Symptoms of Codependency; Darlene Lancer