Having a blended family wedding can sometimes be both a joy and full of discomfort for new family members joining the family unit. This can especially be true for children, particularly when you have a Brady Bunch scenario of kids having to connect with myriad step brothers and sisters. One way to give some meaning to that is to perhaps include your blended family with vows taken during a wedding ceremony. You can employ various vow ideas to help the new children feel like they belong while making that integration feel more spiritual.
Introducing Your Blended Family to the Crowd
During the vow ceremony, try introducing your extended children to the participants of the wedding. The bride and groom can make a vow to the children that they’ll love, honor and accept them into the family unconditionally. Even giving them a ceremonial gift during the vow can be a symbolic gesture of a promise to make the bond real.
Be sure to talk to your extended children beforehand about doing this so there isn’t any surprise. Some children might feel uncomfortable participating in this vow when there’s perhaps hundreds of people watching.
Having the Children Recite Vows or a Meaningful Poem
For children who aren’t afraid to do public speaking, they may enjoy taking part in a vow themselves. This can be written in advance by either the bride or groom and given to the child to read so he or she doesn’t have to memorize it. Regardless, these can get personal, so perhaps writing a poem about the importance of close family bonds can provide the symbolism of family without getting into specifics. Vows can be become very emotional, so you have to think carefully about what’s the most appropriate for a public place.
Sometimes having everyone participate in the vow can give a sense of unity so it isn’t dependent on certain people. Creating a vow where the parent asks the child to answer in the affirmative can create a memorable experience you’ll want to cherish. All the child has to do is say “yes” or “I promise” to questions posed by each parent.
As memorable as this can be, talk to your children about it first. Answering in the affirmative to each vow might feel like they’re being pressured into a contract. Make sure everyone is on the same page about doing this and that they truly believe in the words and vows you use.
More Symbolic Gestures
Spiritually symbolic vows can be memorable experiences for all involved and can be significant enough where the children remember them forever. Try other symbolic gestures like everyone taking turns placing a flower into a bouquet or each lighting a candle. Tears will probably flow from the audience and the family when these elements are incorporated with meaningful words.
Because many symbolic gestures are representative of peace, it can help inspire the family to uphold their detailed vows in a world where promises are frequently broken.