With about one-half of all marriages ending in divorce, several psychological facts associated with post-divorce dating must be considered. Examining yourself to insure you are not suffering from self-esteem issues, excessive grief, unhealthy cravings, or fear will help you make healthy choices when it comes to returning to the dating scene. By making healthy choices, a newly divorced person will have a positive dating experience.
According to Psychology Today writer and psychologist David Anderson, many recently divorced people want to return to the dating scene, but struggle to overcome their negative self-thoughts. The negative self-thoughts, according to Anderson, are best overcome by setting appropriate personal standards. The more you have to offer going into a relationship, the more you should expect from your partner. Anderson suggests the practice is similar to setting a social price for yourself, allowing each person to determine who is worthy of a relationship with them.
According to psychologist Mary Jo Rapini, grief after a divorce is very common because each divorcee has suffered a loss. Before you can move on from one relationship to another, you first must spend time grieving, which helps you proceed with less anger and pain. One method you should use is to plan interactions with family and close friends, according to Rapini, especially those who can sympathize with the loss you are suffering.
When a person is in emotional pain, according to Anderson, they will often entertain feelings below their intellectual level. Allowing themselves to operate below their intellectual level creates cravings which are often unhealthy and self-destructive. Unhealthy cravings are common for people who have no tolerance of living a single lifestyle, often causing them to rush into a new relationship. Positive interactions and relying on a strong support group are essential to overcoming unhealthy cravings.
According to The Divorce Recovery Plan, fear stops you from being able to see any hope for the future. Divorce often causes you to focus on negative beliefs you have about yourself, which causes you to believe nothing positive lies ahead. Most of the fear, stems from not knowing what the future holds. A person recovering from divorce must remember they can have a positive future, and can successfully overcome their fears.