I miss you.
Your smile and laughter seem so far away,
but I know they are somewhere close
spreading joy to all who see them.
I miss your inventions.
They were full of so much joy…, and effort
I must not forget.
how you would go climb up in the rafters of the garage
searching through the endless piles of Christmas trees
filled with cobwebs, mismatched shoes,
insulation, and mice looking for the perfect ball
to roll through your tunnel of paper, wood,
and plastic slides spinning round and round.
I remember stories running through your head
while sitting in your tree fort setting traps.
Wishing for a robber, or stranger to approach
so you could swing between the limbs
and kick him in the throat.
You always were a dreamer, and hero for the day.
I miss the way you whistled,
and marched, and laughed, and played.
I miss the way you hugged your dog
and kissed his dirty face.
I miss the way you saw the world,
I miss the dreams you had.
Your pond was like an ocean,
the tadpoles, frogs all friends.
Their croaks would be your lullaby,
sleeping fast in bed.
I miss your morning breakfasts of frosted flakes and eggs.
I miss the way you skipped your meals
to run outside and play.
I’m sorry for the pain
that made you miss the rest of childhood.
I’m sorry for the rain
that drowned your little dreams.
It came so quick and tore a hole
through your little heart.
I’m sorry little boy
it tore away your fun.
I wish you could have changed,
I wish you didn’t run.
I wish you had not been so brave,
and lasted for so long.
I wish the joy had stayed to dry the tears you shed.
I wish you had not wished so much.
Staring out the window you would wish to hug your dog,
and climb trees, but your wish would never come.
You wished you were just dreaming and soon
you would awake with all the pieces of your life
just as they were,
but then your nightmare turned to hate,
your life a joyless note.
Soon you were away to battle with this pain,
and on your trip you rode a lifeless train.
Through misery, and cadence you marched away
t he thoughts of swinging in your tree,
your friends, your family.
I’m sorry for the hurt you felt,
I’m sorry for the tears that stained your dreams at night.
I’m sorry for the hate that kissed you while you slept,
I’m sorry for the pain than watched you as you crept.
I’m sorry for the way your body twisted shape.
The pain was always lurking inside your fisting shakes.
If God was good he would have stopped before you died.
A twisted empty pride.
I miss you little boy,
I hug you now and then,
but soon I wake to watch your fleeting memory
run away in fear.
I’m sorry I have changed, pain raining down my face.
I’m sorry I let you go, I wanted to hold on.
But now I’m not so small,
I’m big and tall just like you wished!
I wish you could see me now,
I wish you were still here.
I miss you.