I am currently going through my divorce. In fact it’s in its final stages and soon I will be a free woman once again. Last week the news tabloid had something worth reading with the announcement that Prince Andrew and his ex-wife Sarah Duchess of York are back together after being divorced for nearly 20 years. The couple are officially back together with rumors of a possible re-marriage in the future. Although my estranged husband and I have done a fairly decent job of keeping things civil, I can’t think of anything that would make me want to return to the shackles of a married life with him. I started to wonder, Are Fergie and Andrew setting a new trend? Why would anyone want to re-marry their ex?
Children play a large role in the estimated 6% percent of divorced couples that re-marry each other. This isn’t to say that they re-marry for the sake of the children. However, when divorced couples have children usually they keep close ties and communication. Sometimes these close ties re-develop into feeling and the pair re-unite.
Time Heals Old Wounds
Some divorced couples simply call of the proceeding and give their marriages another chance when they have had time to cool off. Others reunite after some time has passed. If the couples stay in contact because of children, property or business arrangement sometimes the positives about their former spouse starts to emerge again. With the passing of time often, the anger and bitterness dissipate allowing for more positive emotions to re-surface. Re-marriage isn’t the outcome for the majority of divorces, even those couples that remain friends afterwards. However those that do re-marry often mention a change of heart over the passing of time.
Young Love, Not So Strong
Couples that marry too young sadly, often don’t make it. Immaturity combined with the pressures of today’s world is often too much for young marriages to take. A small portion of the 6% seem to be from this category. Once divorced some young couples re-unite years later. They feel older, more mature and capable of taking a commitment seriously.
The Devil You Know
Not all divorces are bitter and nasty. Some couples actually remain civil and even friendly throughout the proceedings. For those that accomplish this sometimes re-marriage is the outcome. First there is less bitterness and anger to get over when a divorce is handled amicably. Another advantage is knowing the person. Re-marrying the ex means no getting to know you phase. No need to be on your best behavior because that person already knows you intimately.
People change over time and old wounds do heal. In my case it would take far more than this to get me down the aisle again. However, some couples do try and give their former spouses another chance, some with success and some not.