Being a certain age entitles one to get asked a lot of questions. I’ve been asked so many that I wanted to pick some and share my thoughts and views on them.
Do you think 40 is old?
Okay, I used to think 40 was old, like 30 years ago. Now that I’m almost 40, in no way do I think 40 is old. As a matter of fact, now I think 40 is just the beginning. And it is. Now I think everything before 40 is just practice and to prepare yourself for what’s to come.
Why aren’t you married yet?
Um… because… I’m not? I really don’t know how to respond to this question. There’s so many ways to answer. Let’s try… because I’ve just never met the right person or how about because, well, I don’t really know and I don’t really think about it. Maybe one day? Yeah, that’s a good answer. Maybe one day!
Don’t you want children?
I love this question. Sure, I want children. I would love to have children. I’m just not sure I could sufficiently feed, clothe and take care of them in a successful way, so I’m choosing not to have them at this moment in my life. I think that’s a good answer. And sometimes, I just feel like, no… no, I really don’t and maybe you shouldn’t either.
Have you ever tried losing weight?
Again, love the question. Yes, I’ve tried, but it keeps stalking me and won’t leave me alone. No, seriously, I know you care about me and my health and only want the best for me, but the weight battle is a tough battle. I’m trying to get healthy, so thanks for asking and for not asking me anymore.
What’s wrong with you? Or What’s on your mind?
Yeah, this question should only be asked if you have like 10 or 11 hours of free time. If you don’t then I would suggest not asking it. Maybe asking something easier, such as, do you know what the Pythagorean Theorem is? Or do you know what the square root of 4,302,540 is? Something easy like that.
Do you have any spare change?
I get asked this question a lot. If I did have any spare change, why would I give it to you? Don’t I need my own spare change? It’s not like I’m a millionaire. I need my own spare change, so please don’t ask. However, if I do find money on the ground, I may give it to you. Or I may not. I may be too busy wondering about theorems or square roots.
Are you listening to me?
Of course I’m listening to you. I’m always listening to you. That’s all I ever do is listen. Okay, no I don’t, but I’m usually listening. Isn’t that good enough? No one can listen all the time. That’s why you have pets.
Do you want fries with that?
(You too?) No, I don’t want fries with that. If I did want fries, I would say I want fries. But thanks for asking. Oh, wait…um, can I get fries with that? Small?…small fries…yeah, thanks. (Power of suggestion.) Oh, wait…make that a medium.