Feeling hopeless and Wondering What To Do
Does this story sound familiar?
Each day I pull myself from sleep, my only true sanctuary. My body, is it my body or some kind of puppet I inhabit for the pleasure or object of ridicule for all the other mindless flesh-bags that cast a shadow upon me.
I look in the mirror and I see a partial person–something is missing. I gave some part of myself away. Some part of me was stolen along with innocence and happiness. Where is the rest of me? Tears threaten but I push them down…there is so much to do. There is nothing to do. I am nothing.
I walk out the door and face the world. A new day. More disappointment awaits. More feelings of inadequacy. More feelings of hopelessness. More feelings of not belonging. I am a lamb in a world of wolves. I am nothing.
I go to work. This is what is expected. This is how I survive. Survive… that is all I am doing. Purpose has abandoned me. Clarity is chaotic. I am a cog in a network of gears serving others. A mindless, senseless cog day after day. I am nothing.
I have friends. We do things sometimes. Friends that don’t really see me. How can they see me when I cannot see myself. Who am I? Why am I here? This cannot be right. This existence. This is all wrong.
Finally, the day is over. Dreams await. I welcome sleep. I welcome escape. Maybe my dreams will take me to that special place where I matter. Maybe I can stay there.
What Do You Do
What do you do when these days of darkness descend upon you? Share your experience. Share your secret. Help your brothers and sisters who are struggling to cast away the shadows of hopelessness.
What You Can Do
A summary of the process goes something like this:
- Create a space for yourself to express your feelings–remember that your feelings are always valid
Explore what triggered those feelings
process your feelings–remember negative feelings equal pain
Create healthy boundaries for yourself, boundaries that honor you and define your worth (even if you feel unworthy, imagine and try to embrace this truth: you are of equal value and deserve all the best the world has to offer)–this makes you feel safe and that you matter
create healthy boundaries that work toward eliminating what triggered your negative feelings
Model the behaviors you want others in your life to utilize–modeling healthy strategies is a gift that lasts a lifetime, and it ripples across generations