Karma is the belief of Indian religions that a single action or deed can cause the entire cycle of cause and effect. I used to be a firm believer of karma…until here lately. You see, I am starting to date again and I find it hard to believe that my ‘luck’ in finding a decent man correlates with anything that I have put out into the world.
I will be the first to admit that I am not always the nicest person, but I know I am not the most horrible either! Yet, according to karma, these men I keep finding, or should I say keep finding me, are a result of what I have given to ‘Mother Earth’. One thing I have learned, our ‘Mother Earth’ has a wicked sense of humor and I am the butt of her jokes.
Case in point:
My first experience was: “The Neighbor”. Let me start by saying “The Neighbor” was not such because he owned or even rented the house he lived in; it was his parents’ house and yes, they lived there too. He would sit on the porch every morning drinking a beer and smoking cigarettes, which he would sometimes try and borrow off of me. He watched me as I got in my car with two kids in tow and headed off to work. When I came home in the evenings, he was still on the porch. One day he thought it would be a good idea to ask me out. I am not sure if his bravery was a result of too many beers or boredom. I had so many questions in my mind upon the release of his question, ‘Hey, you want to go out some time?’ that I was almost speechless. Where are we going? How are we getting there? Who is going to pay? You have no home, no vehicle, and no job. Oh, I know…you want to sit on my porch while I work all day. Better yet, it would be a good idea if you drive my car while I am at work all day and I would love to take money away from my children to supply you beer and cigarettes. I simply smiled, like I was flattered, and walked away.
Next was: “I Do Not Want Kids”. IDNWK gave off the appearance of being decent. He had a job, a vehicle, a place to live, and no children of his own. Now, one would think that since he had no kids and was fully self aware of the fact that he did not want children that it was simply a cover-up for the fact that physically he or his ex-wife could not produce children. Why else would he date a woman who has two daughters? My girls are a fact that I am very upfront about. Neither have a father in their lives so there is no every other week-end when they are out of the house or another parent to attend a school function. Therefore it means I am busy most of the time and if you are not willing to participate in these activities, I am sorry. I will fit you into my schedule when I can. My favorite line that IDNWK used was, “You never have time for me”. Well I am sorry you big baby that I put my children before you. What in the world am I thinking? How dare I not pawn my children off and spend every waking moment being at your beck and call! Yes, we can go out sometimes, but most of the time dating me requires that you be willing to spend time at my house and simply hang out. It did not take him long to figure out the he needed to date a woman that did not have kids or want them either.
Finally there was: “Kind of Like a Husband”. I refer to KOLAH all the time, as he is my favorite. He swept in to clean up the mess that “The Neighbor” and “IDNWK” left behind. He met all the requirements-job, vehicle, a place to live, and an added bonus-children of his own. He understood that having kids meant that some dates occur at the zoo or were spent seeing Monsters University instead of World War Z. He mowed the yard and fixed things around the house. If I was busy with ‘mommy business’ he did not get mad and pout if it meant that plans had to be changed or cancelled altogether. A lot of our time together was spent with my girls because they are around all the time and he was okay with that too. KOLAH was one of those men that you sat around at night and thought of ways not to mess the situation up because he was that good. The only problem, some woman before me thought the same thing, she was still MRS. KOLAH and there were no plans on her end to change her status.
I am now out of the dating scene for a much needed rest. I am okay with being single, but I am also looking for a peace offering to present to “Mother Earth” in hopes that one day she will give me a break!