Barely half of adults in the U.S. are married, according to a study by the Pew Research Center. Adults are waiting longer to get married than ever before, which brings many of us to consider having a friends with benefits dating style. Friends with benefits allow you to have the physical connection with someone, but take away any sort of commitment that would tie you down. As a working professional and a millennial, I’ve found myself in friends with benefits situations rather than a committed relationship. Learn how a guy really thinks of a friends with benefits scenario and how you can avoid getting hurt.
We are just looking for sex
Let’s be honest and not beat around the bush. A friends with benefits relationship is strictly sex for a guy, it’s on call sex without any sort of commitment. What guy wouldn’t find this appealing? Guys will tell you that they do not want a relationship, but may still proceed with what appears as dating. We may call you over to watch a movie, go for a car ride, or even a long walk. However, at the end of the day we are just looking to satisfy the physical side of a relationship. If we wanted a relationship, we would tell you. Similarly, many women engage in this type of relationship, but often times when sex is involved on a long-term basis, it can create feelings.
Are you starting to have feelings for him?
We’ve all seen the movies that Hollywood shells out, such as “Friends With Benefits”, which show that both people start to have feelings for each other and end up in a committed relationship. That Happens in Hollywood and not all the time in real life. I’ve had an experience where I was seeing this girl for about 8 months with a friends with benefits agreement. We still talked late at night and shared our thoughts and ambitions, but it never made it into a full-fledged relationship. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t have feelings for her, nor did I have the time for a relationship. However, I found out later that she was devastated when I ended the relationship. You need to lay your feelings on the table as soon as you start to have them. He will either express the same feelings and take the leap into a committed relationship, or end the friends with benefits agreement. However, do not stay physically involved if he doesn’t share the same feelings as this will lead to hurt down the road.
What are you really looking for?
At one point in my career, I was working about 80-hours a week at a large company in a high-stress job. My goal was to move up the ladder as quickly as possible and I had minimal free time. In this case, the friends with benefits relationship were perfect because I didn’t have to put as much effort in the relationship as I would in a traditional committed relationship. If you are in the same boat, you work a lot, have many obligations and don’t have much free time, then having a friends with benefits may benefit you. Just make sure you are not at the point where you want to settle down or want something serious out of the relationship. Just be careful not to risk disease, as this type of relationship doesn’t typically offer commitment. If you are looking for a commitment and all he wants is sex, then you may not want to open up to this type of relationship as you are bound to get hurt.