Have you ever dated a guy who accused you of cheating with every guy you work with and talk to on a regular basis? Your boyfriend may be going through your phone, blatantly accusing you of cheating and checking your Facebook inbox to see who you are talking to in private. If this has happened, or is happening to you, read on to find out why this occurs from a guy’s perspective.
He is insecure, has been cheated on, or has a jealous personality
We all have varying personalities that were shaped by our own experiences. Men who accuse their significant other of cheating typically have an insecure or jealous personality, or have been cheated on by their ex. From my own experience, I thought my ex-girlfriend was cheating on me when she would text other guys behind my back. Turns out she was cheating after we dated for two years. With my subsequent relationships, I am always leery when there is too much privacy and hanging out with other guys. It’s not that your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, it’s just that their jealous and insecure personality was sculpted by a past experience. Reassuring him and being open is the best way to deal with guys with these personality traits or poor past experiences. Being secretive is the worst way to deal with prior cheating issues.
He is cheating and rationalizing his own behavior
Rationalizing your own behavior by degrading or accusing others has been around for centuries. The hypocritical accusations are typically to shield or reflect his own actions on you. When men cheat we do feel guilty and try to rationalize why we cheated. Typically, we may think that it was your fault, the relationship was going south, or we were unhappy physically. However, some of us will accuse you of cheating to try to make ourselves feel better about our actions, especially if you admit to cheating on him. If this is the case, your best bet is to just ask him honestly and have a discussion regarding both of your fidelity.
He has trust issues
Trust issues don’t just stem from being cheated on in the past or his personality traits as mentioned above. I’ve personally had trust issues in relationship for a history of lies being commonplace in relationships and getting hurt from past breakups. Trust issues are hard to overcome and it takes personal time and the right person to help him get over the issues. It’s not that men don’t trust you personally, but may need a bit more encouragement that you are not like his past experiences. His trust will grow and is earned, not always given. Let him know you are not cheating and that you don’t appreciate his accusations. Let him know that he is the only one you are seeing and just give him reassurance. If his trust issues are too much to overcome, you may need to move on as his trust issues may not resolve quickly.