There’s been a lot of talk about gay marriage lately. So much in fact that it would seem that gays and straights are very different when it comes to love (not to mention rights).
As an online dating profile writer, I’m constantly scanning the online dating profiles of both straight and gay singles. In addition, I’ve had diverse clients, so I’ve been privy to the romantic aspirations of both sides. As such, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned about gay romance versus straight romance and, just in case my humor escapes you, I’m being facetious throughout.
Gay people try to look their best before a first date. It’s true – even lesbians. You know those women everyone assumes wear short hair and sensible shoes (am I the only straight person who’s noticed how smokin’ Jillian Michaels is!)
Fact is, gay people want to look attractive to their same sex partners just as straight people want to look attractive to their opposite sex partners. The only difference I’ve ever noticed is that gay men tend to wear better cologne (oh come on, that’s definitely not a stereotype.)
Gay people get all aflutter before a first date. Believe it or not, a gay person’s heart is just as likely to skip a beat before a date as a straight person’s. Gay people get nervous. They get excited. They wonder if they’ll be liked. Before heading out to meet their love match, they might even check their teeth in the mirror to make sure there’s no food caught anywhere.
Clearly gay people mimic straight people. I wonder, could that be the gay agenda thing that everyone talks about? Are gay people acting straight so they can infiltrate straight society and turn us all into homosexuals? Those crafty gays!
Gay people try to think of good first date ideas. In talking with gay clients and scanning the forums of dating sites, I learned that gay people tend to be on the lookout for good first date ideas just like straight people. I found threads suggesting everything from checking out an art gallery together or going for a bike ride.
You know, I heard that gay men rode things, but who knew they rode bikes! I also learned that gay people like walks on the beach, going to dinner and having picnics. Wow, gays can be so straight!
Gay people write bad online dating profiles. Did you know that gay people can make the same mistakes as straight people when it comes to writing their online dating profiles. It’s true. Both can use my help (forgive the plug, so to speak.)
Here are excerpts from two arbitrary online dating profiles that I chose from a popular dating site. One is by a gay single. The other is by a straight single. Try to figure out which is which.
Here’s the first one: I’m sarcastic, not mean sarcastic but funny sarcastic! Oh and I gotta have honesty. It’s just one of those things i can’t live without. I like reading and learning,especially if it’s useless information.. i just found out Approx 7 million people are born a month.. That’s A LOT of people!! I accept my flaws .. We all have them It’s just part of human nature ..
Here’s the next one: Hi, Thanks for checking out my profile. I’m just giving online dating a try, in order to increase the size of the dating gene pool. So if you’re hoping to meet a fit, amusing, well groomed, sane and of course modest man, then I might be the guy for you.
Can’t tell which one is gay and which one is straight? Neither could I. What I can tell you is that the first one uses terrible sentence construction and the self-marketing is atrocious (what does “honesty is one of those things I can’t live without” even mean?), and that the second one is too short and says nothing of particular interest.
On a final note, thank you for letting me voice an opinion that you’ve probably known all along. That is, the only difference between gays and straights is how you’re treated. Hopefully, we can all keep working together to change that too.