In the dark of night, besieged families lie awake dreading the toxic, candy-filled horror that is Halloween. With its drain on the power grid and ghastly waste being buried unseen in landfills, could there be a way to make it both safer for the environment and for trick-or-treaters? Can the spirit of Halloween be terrifying fun and green at the same time? Mad scientists around the world searched for an answer and came up with this mysterious list:
Make your own costumes: Around your home lurk the makings of a horror so great, it can only have emerged from your children’s imaginations!
Create your own decorations: It started as an innocent childhood craft, but this paper mache holds a dark, grisly secret that can only be unlocked with flour-paste and demented minds. Compost the remains after they’ve served their purpose before they turn.
Use candles instead of lights: The light behind those triangular eyes isn’t electric: it’s fire, made from the wax of a thousand bees! Some secret societies use scentless soy to caste their spells.
Candy can go into any bag: They thought their reusable shopping bags would be safe. They were wrong.
Buy Local Organic: Only one local pumpkin patch could save the town from a nightmare of chemical pesticides…
Reuse or trade costumes: Descending from the attic, these undead costumes were once cute and sweet! The only way to stop them was to swap them in the town square!
Make your own treats: Was it a plate of fingers and spiders, or were they preservative, dye- free treats? There was only one way to know for sure.
Use hand-cranked flashlights: They gave up their batteries to save the water supply, but as the dark and its terrors closed in, they had only one thing to save them: their hand-crank flashlights.
Host a party: In this town, it was a long drive to trick-or-treat. No-one was expecting the Johnson’s to throw a ghastly monster bash.
Compost the aftermath: It was a night of wild celebration, but now the remains had to be dealt with.
Citizens of earth, your holiday revelry may continue unabated. You may choose to ignore the sage advice listed above, but if you do, in landfills and garbage heaps, in water and wind, the Specter of Green may haunt your days and nights. Be wasteful at your own peril, and never forget, you were warned…