If someone discovers a cure for a broken heart, he would surely become a rich person. There are millions of people who are hurting everyday due to broken relationships. And if they could only buy something to end their pain, they will.
To be scorned is the most traumatic of all. When you have invested so much in a relationship and suddenly your loved one wants to break free from you because he has found someone else, it suddenly turns your world upside down and you are left not only with a broken heart but also a damaged self -esteem. You begin to question, “Is there something wrong with me that he does not want me anymore?” or ” Am I such a bad person ?” or, “Why was I not created more lovely or more intelligent, or more…” the list is endless.
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” Shakespeare once wrote. I say, “Earth has no cure for a person scorned. ” Some people who can not bear the pain of love’s rebuff do the most crazy things in their life. Some try to end their life, some resort to substance abuse, some hide from the world and some begin to live in a psychotic world.
Today I can sing, “I once was scorned but now I’m free.” You can sing the same song one day. You can heal your scorned broken heart. Only YOU can do it. I will suggest some steps I took which proved successful;
- 1. Grieve if you must but think of ways to get yourself out of the dumps. When my first boyfriend dumped me for an older more experienced woman, I had sleepless nights and my pillow was drenched in tears the next morning. But I decided to move on. After work I would visit the local bookstore hoping to find a book that could teach how to survive a broken heart, but there was none. I would walk the streets feeling the pain and the anguish of a broken heart and spirit.
- 2. Talk to positive people who value you, for ego support. When I told a friend that my boyfriend left me for an older woman, she said, ” Well, it has nothing to do with who you are. Maybe you are an avocado and he wants a melon” . I felt bad, I told my friend, I am a sweet mango but that lady is a smelly durian and she agreed with me.
- 3. Busy yourself with higher education or other studies. Those lonely times prompted me to study Japanese in the evening, take up a master’s degree on Saturdays and buy interesting books and magazines to read. The novelty of higher education and learning of new skills can spark an added interest in one’s life. It takes your mind off the pain and the insult of the broken relationship.
- 4. Focus on improving your lot in life. Ask yourself how you can be a better person and how you can be more interesting that one day that person who dumped you will regret ever leaving you. Make that a springboard to achieve something on your own. I daydreamed meeting that guy one day as one of those who would be applying in my own company and turning him down. I had my last laugh in my dream. Yes, it’s only a daydream but it comforted me until I was ready to face realities in life. I did achieve something. I have put up my own company although he did not come to apply in it.
- 5. As you busy yourself with so many things, time heals all your wounds. Do not think that you have such a unique case in all the world. Everyone gets his own share of disappointments in life. Do not dwell on your broken heart. Focus on positive things and in healing. And when you heal, your scar will help you to become a more sensitive seasoned individual who will choose to still love again . And I tell you, when your heart breaks again, it is not as painful as the first time.