While searching for the wit and character to advise all you fellow readers on how I became ready for a family, I came across top 5 reasons people consider when getting pregnant while listening to my favorite radio morning show on the road to work.
The Top 5 Questionable Reasons to Get Pregnant
1 I want to get all of that cool baby stuff!
2 I want a do-over. I didn’t take enough pictures and write enough down about my experience last time.
3 I want to use my favorite baby name.
4 My best friend/sister is pregnant too.
5 My body is really good at being pregnant.
Prior to meeting my husband, I was a single parent for the first, most important year of my daughter’s life. I had met her biological father over the internet in an effort to just be friends, but as the old saying goes, men and woman are just unable to remain strictly platonic friends. Her father stayed relatively involved during my pregnancy, but made it very clear that he did not want to develop a relationship with our daughter after she was born. Needless to say, he fulfills the minimum requirements of obligation of support for her, but lacks in any emotional connection. Continuing to engage in a sexual relationship with this type of person resulting in more children is NOT recommended.
My husband became a [step] father when my daughter was walking, talking, potty-training. He does the best any parent can in trying to develop an emotional relationship with my daughter. I constantly encourage them to do father-daughter activities, but it’s been a difficult 5 years. Some things I’ve come to realize is that my husband and I have different parenting styles, and disciplinary styles which can lead to pretty heated arguments in the best practices for child-rearing.
We’ve had several discussions over the last few years addressing my supposed “baby-fever”. My sister has 3 children, and other relatives and friends have had their second and third child. There was a period of time when people would jokingly ask when my husband and I were going to have another baby. It made sense to shrug it off and make excuses because at the time I was a full-time college student, and my husband only worked part-time, while we lived with my mother under one roof. But I’m excited to say that we now live on our own, and are somewhat financially secure. So when the discussion of another child came up, my husband revealed that he no longer desired to have another child. Some of his reasons included additional expenses and time required to raise a second child.
He was also concerned that I would encounter even more medical problems during the pregnancy. I have to admit though that my first pregnancy was pretty textbook until the third trimester when my blood pressure shot up causing me to go in for an induction at risk of preeclampsia. Most of the other problems I encountered were post-pregnancy which included severe premature baldness due to an even worse vitamin deficiency.
All in all, starting a family and becoming a parent is nothing to scoff at. This is a HUGE decision for everyone involved. Some things I would recommend having in place prior to taking that huge leap is being financially secure, proper and stress-free living arrangements, a good network to help with childcare (down the line), and making sure that both adults are on the same page with parenting philosophies.