Living daily with growing, gnawing guilt is a terrible and can drive a person insane. Sometimes it is good to good or healthy to feel guilty because it motivates a person to stop his or her unhealthy habits. However, when guilt starts to interfere with daily life and usual routines, there is a serious problem that should be addressed.
People often feel guilty about situations in which they feel they could have prevented something from happening or where they deeply regretted their decisions or actions. At other times, people feel guilty for their part in the decision or actions made by their family members or close friends. Yet, it is important to remember that even though you may have influenced another person’s way of thinking or course of action, ultimately; people are responsible for their own decisions and actions. And while you most definitely should be held accountable for your own actions, remember that forgiveness can be earned, trust renewed, and wounds healed.
If you have doubts about whether your actions are justifiable or are mistakes, feel confused and uneasy about the situation that you are in, and hope to rectify matters, please read on about how to deal with guilt.
== Steps to overcoming guilt and come out a better person ==
#Figure out what type of guilt you have by finding out the source of your guilt. Be brave and jot down everything that comes to mind that makes you feel sad, uneasy, and frustrated. It might be quite difficult at first, but by honestly dealing with your emotions you will be able to gradually overcome the feeling of guilt. To narrow down the list of the possible causes, imagine not doing each thing on your list, and if you immediately feel better or wistful afterwards, then this just might be the reason why you are feeling guilty.
– Recognizing the type of guilt you have will help you figure out what you should do to resolve your problem. A good article to help identity the five main types of guilt is located at Support for Change ” http://www.empoweredrecovery.com/index.php?page=22
#Rate your level of guilt. Knowing your level of guilt will help you become grounded in the situation. Out of ten, make two ratings: How bad is what you did and how guilty do you feel about it? After this, think about what was wrong with what you did, and why it makes you feel guilty? By knowing how much this guilt gnaws or affects your life you will be motivated to control it and eventually resolve the issue.
-The quote “What I do is not necessarily who I am” by Doug Kelly at ” http://www.empoweredrecovery.com/index.php?page=22 is very helpful. You have made mistakes but it is never too late to make amends. You are accountable for your actions, but these mistakes do not define who you are as a person. Feelings of guilt signal your need to change and rise out of the problems that you are currently in that is making you suffer. Kelly also delves more on the emotional burden of shame and gives in-depth highlights on the healing process to help overcome doubts about self-worth. If your guilt is weighing you down and immensely affecting your life, it is time to seek action, and reading these articles will help shed light on your burden.
#Consider what you are going to do. Now, that you already know the source of your guilt as well as the level of intensity that it is affecting your life you can start to consider the course of action to rectify the problem or your mistakes. Take the next step to make a meaningful change.
If your guilt is over something minor that you did like being mean to someone or neglecting your job or pet, you can redress it by apologizing and doing what you should have done in the first place. Write down what you are going to do, consider when and where, and take action.
If your guilt is over a persons’ death or a friend getting angry, do not be too hard on yourself. You should not fall to pieces over things that are out of your hands like death. Everything happens for a reason, and you should focus your energies on how to help the living, family members of the deceased person or carry out that person’s wishes if you still feel bad about what you had done.
If you feel guilty due to making a friend angry, apologize to your friend and seek a way to make it up to your friend. As a true friend, your friend would eventually forgive you for taking the step to apologize and try to set things straight.
#Once you have a better idea of why you feel guilty, do not run from it. Sometimes it is good to be able to lament with a close pal or trusted friend. Other times, you may want to just let out your frustrations with a stranger who is not a part of the situation and be able to clear your mind and lighten the burden in your heart. If after talking to friends or lamenting with a stranger still does not help, perhaps, you may want to look for professional help to shed some light on your situation. In some situations, you might even be the victim of the situation, being manipulated and tricked into feeling guilty for everything that has happened when in actuality you have been duped.
#[[Forgive|Learn to forgive]]. This is an important step in order to move on with your life. After doing everything that you should do, then you need to learn to let go and embrace the past and forget it. The old saying goes “forgive and forget” http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Forgive+and+forget Forgive the person that hurt you or forgive yourself for the pain you have caused others. You have acknowledged the wrong in your ways, beaten yourself up with guilt, and gradually, have done everything you can to make up for the pain you have caused.
From the excerpt of the Sandy Hook article, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-it/201212/surviving-guilt-next-steps-sandy-hook the writer who is a Holocaust survivor craftily asks and answers “How did they cope? They struggled to make their lives — and their children’s — meaningful. It was their modus operandi. They were going to prove one way or another that their survival had been worthwhile” . Remember that lives goes on and that you need to make your life worthwhile. People make mistakes but do not do it again now that you have realized it and given a second chance to truly learn from the experience and repent for your sins. If someone else has wronged you, remember by letting go and forgiving them, you are truly helping yourself. Do not let the wrongdoer take up an important place in your heart and always be in your mind. He or she does not deserve that space. Instead, allow someone you love to fill up that space and be happy and free again. Do not hold onto that burden.
The process will take time, lots of effort, and patience. There is no easy way and it will hurt a lot, but you need to bear the pain and gradually heal. In the long-run it will be get better.
Recognizing the type of guilt you have will help you figure out what you should do to resolve your problem. A good article to help identity the five main types of guilt is located at [http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=133&Itemid=179 Support for Change]
Everyone messes up sometimes. Do not beat yourself up over it, but give yourself some credit for taking the first step to rectifying your mistakes. If the person you hurt is a close friend, have patience and wait for their forgiveness through time.
Kelly from [http://www.empoweredrecovery.com/index.php?page=22 Get Rid of Guilt] delves further into the emotional burden of shame and gives in-depth information on the healing process to help overcome doubts about self-worth.
Sometimes you may just have a lot of built-up anger that bottles up. Do something relaxing to release your anger such as exercise, singing, writing in a journal, or yell out among passing waves in the ocean.
Learn to accept what you have done and repent for your mistakes but move on. If you make an effort to truly stay away of trouble and do not commit the same mistakes again you will be able to help yourself and others.
Perhaps, by sharing your story with another person will help prevent that person from having to go through a similar pain that you have went through, which would be a good way to repent.
Stop beating yourself up! Sometimes everything happens for a reason. Some people come into our lives to teach us a meaningful lesson and then leave. Mistakes are to be learned from and lessons should be passed on.
- Ignoring your guilt and suppressing your feelings will only make it worse. The best thing to do is to deal with your emotions, but; be careful who you share your private life and story with because it may bring harm instead.
[http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=133&Itemid=179 Support for Change]
[http://www.empoweredrecovery.com/index.php?page=22 Get Rid of Guilt]
[http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Forgive+and+forget Forgive and Forget]
[http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-it/201212/surviving-guilt-next-steps-sandy-hook Surviving guilt next steps Sandy Hook]