Consider the following scenario: Jane has been married for five years. She just cannot understand why her husband, John, doesn’t support her and validate her feelings. John, on the other hand, thinks he is helping her because he always offers logical advice when she speaks. She gets frustrated and annoyed when he does this. He is left confused at her behavior and always wonders what he did wrong.
Does this sound familiar? Probably so. If you’re alive and breathing, chances are that you have been frustrated when communicating with the opposite sex. You probably think, “Why doesn’t he/she get it?” or “Why can’t they be more like me?”
Don’t worry. I have two critical things you need to know so you can talk to your partner better. If you keep these important differences in mind, you will be on your way to a much happier relationship!
Here they are:
- (1) Men are direct and literal, and women are indirect and intuitive. While this may not be a huge revelation to you, I cannot tell you how many people don’t adjust their behavior accordingly. For instance, ladies, instead of telling your partner/husband, “Honey, I’m really thirsty,” say, “Honey, will you get me some water?” It’s the same message, but some men just don’t pick up on the hints. Remember: Men are not mind readers!! And gentlemen, you need to promise that if your lady becomes more direct, you will meet her in the middle and try to “read between the lines” when she says she’s thirsty (it’s not a huge leap to come to the conclusion that she might want you to get her a glass of water when she says she’s thirsty).
- (2) Men talk about tasks and goals, and women talk about relationships and emotions. Again, this is probably not a huge revelation. But putting this realization into practice with your behavior is more of a challenge. Many problems are created when we insist that the opposite sex talks about what we want to talk about! Guess what? We’re all a different. Gentlemen, take a few minutes out of your day to listen about the fight she had with a friend. And ladies, give him the same courtesy of listening to the details of last night’s game. I think you get the point.
It all comes down to not being selfish. That’s right! Have empathy. And now that you know these two critical differences between the sexes, take action! Think about it from your partner’s point of view for once. Don’t think your he/she has to become more like you!! You are not better! Your partner is not better! You are just different!! Try to meet halfway. It requires effort, but isn’t it worth it to have a happier relationship? Of course it is!