When I was young and radio was the medium for entertainment at home, there was a humorous program on the air called “It Pays to be Ignorant”. Today, it would not be funny, but would be a reality show. I mention ignorance only because, as I have aged, instead of turning to the obit columns as many of my age group t4nd to do, I read the personal ads on Craigslist, male, female, bi, asexual, metrosexual- there seems to be something there for everyone.
So, I thought I would share some of my findings. To begin with, the high unemployment figures have caused some so-called “straight” people (mostly male) to offer some sort of sex for pay. “Gay for pay” seems to be an accepted ritual for paying rent or other bills. It strikes me, though, that if the economy is so bad there would be less people able to afford the come-ons of men and women and metrosexuals.I have not deigned to interview offerers to see how well their ads are pulling in responses (pun intentional).
I did observe some interesting differences between male and female personal ads. Organ size seems vital to males, hardly so to females. Race is far more made specific for males, who seem determined to prefer Asian, or black or Caucasian or Latino in their ads specifically. Men may post naked pictures which obscure or cut out their faces. Women ar less reluctant to do so because faces and “making out” is far more meaningful to heterosexual sex. Women seem content to accept the favors of anyone lusty interested in someone busty. Women, far more than men, are loath to travel, insisting on performing (or pretending) in their own homes. There is a common denominator, however, because males and females offer their services in a car- not necessarily their own. Men also seem more adventurous in suggesting some sort of public sex.
Much to my displeasure, ignorance in spelling also becomes obvious “discrete” instead of “discreet” “there” instead of “their” are two blatant examples. Texting shortcuts also now avoid actual wording. One often used such shortcut is “hmu” which, I finally discerned, means “bit me up”. Male ads also sometimes use BBC, which does NOT mean the British Broadcast service.
While the missionary position is not overtly mentioned, women prefer that traditionally accepted position, while men may proudly specify other means of interlocking bodies. Seldom, incidentally, have I seen a female ad which proudly headlines specific fetishes, while there are a number of male ads which point to aberrations the average family member may never have imagined. Males are also far more prone to advertise group sex than women.
I find reading personal ads far more enjoyable than re-reading “Catcher in the Rye” or “Catch 22” or “War and Peace.” I wonder why no one has thought of doing a reality documentary following someone who has posted an ad on Craigslist, and follow him and/or her throughout potential activities. Well, it’s a thought that might be a goldmine for someone. Maysles Brothers, Ken Burns? Anyone?