Oh my goodness! I’m turning into my mother! Turning into one’s mother has been an ongoing “joke” or fear for many women for a very long time. Granted, one cannot literally turn into one’s mother, but we generally act like our mothers. Children tend to emulate their parents’ actions. For a mother raising a daughter, this is something serious to think about. What characteristics or mindsets are we passing onto our daughters?
I have a zero tolerance for bullying. I have told my daughter that she is not to ever bully someone or degrade someone who is different from herself. I also told her if I ever found out that she was being mean to another person on purpose, that she would be grounded and not allowed to leave the house. I developed this attitude from my mother. My mother would have grounded us and taken away every toy we had if we ever dreamed of picking on someone. Some children unfortunately witness their mothers bullying people, and they too, adopt this characteristic. We as mothers have a duty to raise our children (not just our daughters) to respect other people. Granted, I understand that everyone does not agree on everything, and we have various religions, political beliefs, and cultural norms, but this does not give anyone an excuse to raise children to become bullies. We need to think about our actions and how we treat people, because our children are watching.
Gossiping is a horrible trait to pass onto our daughters. Why do we women feel the need to talk negatively about other women and share personal things about them? I do not allow gossip in my home. This, too, is a quality that I have learned from my mother. It was not tolerated in her home, and I feel that it has no place in mine. No one likes to be talked about negatively. When we hear that a friend or family member has said something extremely personal or embarrassing about us, we feel hurt and betrayed. Teaching one’s daughter to speak respectfully about other people should be taught. Why focus on the bad and the embarrassing? We need to teach our daughters to see the positive in people, not the negative.
In today’s culture, sex sells. However, we as mothers have a duty to teach our daughters about modesty. I would not say that I am overly strict about a “dress code,” but my children look like children. They will never wear revealing, form-fitting clothing while living in my home. I believe my job as a mother is to teach my daughters how to be successful with their minds, not their bodies. I dress rather modestly, as does my mother. Again, this is another characteristic I learned from my mother. I demand respect because of the way I carry myself, present myself, and dress myself. We need to set this as an example for our daughters. We need to teach our daughters that they are beautiful while dressing respectfully. It needs to be stressed that one does not need to degrade herself to get ahead in life. Modestly and “class” always trump “cheap and trashy” in my opinion.
I feel lucky to have turned out like my mother. She taught me to respect others and to respect myself. She taught me these traits because that is how she was raised. My wish is that my daughters adopt the characteristics that I have passed on to them, and that someday, I will see these same traits in my grandchildren. Turning into one’s mother does not always have to be a bad thing. It can, and in my opinion should be, a positive thing.