It’s Okay to Let Friends Go, But Be Considerate
Things I Would Never Do When A Friendship Has Run Its Course
Some of the greatest relationships in my life have been with my female friends. We can all think back to our first best friend and feel the warm fuzzy memories of our childhoods. And if we’re lucky, many of those friendships ripen through adolescence and adulthood and accompany us into old age. It is also a given that if our love lives turn sour, we always have our friends standing by to dry our tears. I am happy to say that I am one of those loyal, ‘I love you forever’ type of friends; however, it is also true that one or two ‘friends’ along the way may not adore us back. Friendships change, people move on, but for goodness sake, be the better person.
No Facebook or Social Media Condolences. A ‘friend’ of 40 years posted a quick comment of condolence when my beloved mother-in-law passed away a few months ago. No call, no card. Shoot, people I don’t even know, posted longer notes of support. If you’re a true friend, take the time to reach out. It can make or break a friendship.
RSVP an Important Event. When I turned 50, I had a huge birthday bash in a rented venue. My friend and hairdresser of twenty years said she wouldn’t miss it. I never received an RSVP, so I left a message on her phone the week of the party. She never returned my call, nor did she attend my event (others have confirmed that she is alive and doing well). Don’t wait until someone’s important day to try to slip away unnoticed. Make a lame excuse, and then be honest when the time is right.
Don’t Drop Explosive Comments Unless You Can Back Them Up with Honesty. An old ‘friend’ recently dropped this one on me, “I don’t have time to email now that I’m a grandmother; but, we will have each other to lean on when our parents die.” Really???????? (No further explanation needed.)
If You Have to Vent About Everything in Your Life, Leave Some Talking Space for the One Who is Listening. My first litmus test when I meet a cool lady whom I may want to hang with in the future is to observe how well she listens. If that person spends at least two hours with you over dinner or a drink and never asks you anything about your life, chances are she never will. This litmus test also works well for eliminating potential love matches.
Don’t Make Plans if You Think Something Better Will Come Along. I’ve had the experience of being stood up by a friend because another one of her friends had a better offer, whatever that means. She is a young woman who has a demanding job and limited free time. I get that it’s hard to keep everyone happy when time is of the essence. However, my time is precious too. If you really think something else will come along, don’t make plans with me. I have other friends who will put me first.