On Day 1 we were lucky
We got signed on real early
And actually got registered
Before the website crashed.
We tried for weeks and weeks on end
And could not get logged on.
Then “Surprise” one day after six weeks
We were on and could submit our data.
A once in a million lucky chance
So we stayed on and plugged away
And after a full day’s tiring work
We had proven we are who we are.
We were stuck ’cause the computer said “No go”
We needed proof of our 2014 income!
They also said that our minor child
Needed to apply for a separate plan with CHIP.
We always have had a family plan for us all
And don’t know how to prove the future
We called and talked to the Obamacare rep
Who said we could appeal the computer’s decision on CHIP.
After 30 minutes of nonsense about how to prove the future
And after holding for another 30 for an expert
We were told that someone would call us
At our home in about 5 days time.
We waited every day but no call.
We waited an extra week but no call.
So finally we called and they said so sorry.
Someone will call in about 5 days time.
We went out the next day and the call came in
No one was home, so we needed to call back
It was Thanksgiving week and we faltered
It was all too much for us.
Deer week saw a return of vigor and resolve
We made the return call, and they called us right back.
They said the fix is that we must resubmit
The application over the phone.
Although we’d used up all our printer ink
Luckily we’d made a complete printout
So it wasn’t too difficult on the phone
To do it all over again.
We hoped the answer would change
And that our child would be in a family plan
But the outcome remained the same
And the computer said to apply for CHIP.
But we could proceed and pick an insurance plan
For my husband and myself
We were getting an Obamacare credit
And did not need to prove our 2014 income until March of 2014.
We didn’t appeal the CHIP
That would take time and cause confusion
Our current insurance had sent a cancellation notice
We wanted Obamacare for Jan 1st.
We quickly reviewed the insurance plan options
Starting with Platinum, the best
We spent one short session on the computer
Decided, and enrolled online.
We called our chosen insurance company to ask about paying
They said they would be in touch
Wait a week and call again
They would know more by then.
In the meantime we followed the link to Compass
Which is the CHIP application on-line process
We filled out a different application
For my child’s insurance.
When the application was done the answer said
That we needed to go to to the County Assistance Office
And prove my child’s income for her new part-time job
At which she works 4 hours per week.
We called CAO and they told us what to bring
So we brought a box of medical bills and insurance premiums
And a copy of our 2012 income tax return
And the pay stubs from our minor child’s little job.
They were able to meet with us that day
But they told us that our child couldn’t be referred to CHIP
Until she applied for and is denied Medicaid
And has lost her current insurance coverage.
We told them to proceed with the (ridiculous) process
Of submitting a Medicaid application
A waste of time for sure
But we needed to keep the ball rolling.
At the end of the meeting they added
That there was one additional process
If we submitted another CHIP application on paper
Directly to a CHIP provider, it might be faster.
They didn’t have all of the CHIP providers’ applications
But had one for one provider
So we called them but they agreed
That my child’s CHIP application would be denied until her insurance lapsed.
On a hunch we called another CHIP provider
And they said that County Assistance and the other CHIP provider were wet.
Our child could be approved for insurance,
And we’d be emailed an application.
So we filled out another CHIP application on paper
And scanned it and our income tax return in, page by page,
And attached them to an email, page by page,
To get them to the CHIP provider in time.
In the meantime we called my husband’s and my new insurer
And they’d received the application
And were processing and would send the bill and our cards
And yes, we were going to have insurance for Jan 1st.
So we waited for the mail
And got the insurance cards but no bill.
So we waited for the mail
And still got no bill.
So we called and they said the bill had been mailed
And surely we would get it soon.
So we waited for the mail
And still got no bill.
Then we got a reminder, with no figures or info
Saying we hadn’t yet paid our bill.
But we hadn’t yet gotten a bill.
We figured we’d better pay anyway.
So we sent in a check with the insurance number from our cards,
And mailed it priority with tracking.
When we saw it had been received and 2 days had passed.
We called but they still hadn’t processed it.
It was Christmas week and they were behind in processing payments
But we were insured for sure
And we could go ahead and cancel our old insurance
Because we were definitely insured with them.
CHIP sent an email asking for proof of my deduction
Which was only an IRA contribution
So we sent them the bank IRA statement
And they told us someone would call to set up payment.
We waited one day and no one called.
So we emailed our CHIP contact who was now on vacation
His email auto-answered and gave us a new contact
And we called the alternate CHIP contact.
He said our child had been enrolled
And gave us her CHIP insurance number
And said to call billing
To get the payment in.
We called billing and they said
That you can’t call to make payment.
Billing has to call you
So wait to receive a call from them.
So we waited for the call,
Which came the next day.
We made payment for our child
And decided to believe that we were now all covered for Jan 1st.
We called our current insurance company
And they said to cancel our current insurance online.
There is a form that you fill out and submit
So we went there and did what we were told.
The form was clearly not secure,
Anyone could fill it out from the info on our card with a birth date,
And we were glad that no one was out there doing this
Or no one would have health insurance.
So now it is after Christmas
With a few days to go until Obamacare starts.
We’ll check that our insurance payment was applied to our new policy
And that our current insurance got cancelled.
We’ll make sure that our current insurance doesn’t take the Jan 1st payment,
And we’ll figure out how to prove our entire 2014 income in March of 2014.
We hope that everything goes better
Than it has been going so far.
The most important part of Obamacare is yet to be seen
We haven’t been to the doctor or gotten treatment
We hope that the new system works, but if it doesn’t,
At least we won’t die from worrying about the cost of our health insurance.
Even with Platinum level Obamacare,
We’ll save tens of thousands of dollars
And that, despite all of the application trouble,
Is something worth rocking or rapping about.
So in summary, we’d like to say,
Obamacare rocks. It’s applying for it that rots.
