Plankton is the new Wile E. Coyote, at some point we all feel sorry for him and wish he’d win just once and then go away. Dejected, even by his computer wife, all he needs to feel complete is the Krabby patty secret recipe. I have an idea for a SpongeBob storyline that would impart victory to Plankton’s character and summarily eliminate this despicable microbe from Bikini Bottom.
I don’t have a lot of time to watch tv so I generally watch what my six and nine year olds are watching. Lucky for me they watch a lot of SpongeBob. Plankton’s arch-villainy is always melodramatic, comical, and pity-inspiring. I’m reminded of the Road Runner’s nemesis and his wonderfully creative diabolical plans to catch his meal. But while Wile E.’s quiet determination in the face of inevitable failure is somehow endearing, Plankton’s poor planning and inappropriately timed monologuing make him easily disliked.
Whereas Wile E.’s success would mean the end of the show–he eats the Road Runner and the shows over-Plankton’s success is more incidental. So what if there were two places to get Krabby patties? He is not in every episode, and other villains with different agendas, and more humor could easily replace his role. So, how to write off Plankton? Give him what he wants!
My plan for Plankton’s demise:
Mr. Krabs daughter, Pearl, begs her father to buy her concert tickets to the latest Bikini Bottom teen craze, the “C.N.M.O.Knees.” He refuses. Pearl desperately tries to raise the money to get the tickets. Plankton, always spying on the Krabs’ household, is aware of the situation. He disguises himself as a “ticket master” and approaches Pearl with his irresistible offer. Two front row VIP tickets complete with backstage passes all for the low price of the Krabby patty secret recipe.
Recipe in hand, Plankton monologues about having so often failed to retain or read the recipe when it’s within his grasp and how he will make no such mistake this time. Armed with his shell-phone, Plankton takes a picture of the recipe and emails it to his supercomputer W.I.F.E., Karen. Karen, busy designing a website for the new Chum Bucket, opens the email and inadvertently posts the recipe on the website for all to see.
The secret recipe is now public knowledge, and with great fanfare and anticlimax … nothing changes. Chum Bucket business continues its dismal run and the loving hands and spatula of SpongeBob ensure the Krusty Krab loses no business. Plankton, endowed with the recipe but stripped of his raison d’etre, packs up the Chum Bucket and he and Karen, in search of new markets, leave Bikini Bottom forever.