COMMENTARY | How much consent need a young person in the throes of passion receive before doing the deed? A never-ending spate of sexual assaults involving questionable consent plagues the news cycle. Typically, alcohol is involved and, in the aftermath, the alleged victim insists there was no consent while the alleged perpetrator claims the sex was indeed consensual. The tragic aftermath of a night of heavy drinking on a college campus or basement of a young person’s house often involves a case of “he said/she said.”
Lives are ruined. Most times, a young person was raped and must deal with the horrific aftermath of that assault. Occasionally, however, a young person was falsely accused and must deal with the equally horrific aftermath of becoming a pariah who faces the prospect of imprisonment and permanent social exile. Writer and lecturer Roxanne Jones opines on CNN that young people should get a pre-sex text signaling that a consensual sexual relationship exists.
Though critics may condemn Jones’ op-ed for slamming some young women as “stupid girls” who are “trouble,” her advice is sound…for both genders. Jones highlights the rampant binge drinking by both men and women on college campuses that inevitably leads to post-coital trouble. Maybe, the next morning, it turns out that she had a boyfriend and wants to head off any charges of cheating, experiencing intense “buyer’s remorse.” In desperation, maybe she accuses the guy everyone saw her stumbling off into the back room with as doing something he didn’t do.
If the guy had wanted her to send a “sext” to his phone, she might have reconsidered the path the drunken flirting was taking. Both parties would go their separate ways. The girl would not have “buyer’s remorse” the next morning and the guy would not risk having his life ruined by an accusation.
Though pre-sex text “contracts” may be far from sexy and spontaneous, dragging bureaucracy and awkwardness into the bedroom, they may have benefits beyond reducing sexual assaults and false accusations. Young men and women may behave better and commit less infidelity if they know that pre-sex text “contracts” are expected protocol, leaving a digital trail of any cheating.
“Do you really want that text in your phone the next morning?” may be the question that prevents many a questionable hookup. Covering your behind may harsh the flow of a “romantic” night, but it may ultimately prevent much stress and agony later. Unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and infidelity may be reduced if “get a sext first” becomes expected protocol on college campuses.
Only if you’re willing to become “text official,” or “sext official,” should the hookup commence. You should cover your -ss before you uncover your -ss.