There were pirates sailing on the Atlantic Ocean on their way to West Palm Beach, Florida on a Tuesday. The leader, Captain Rocco Crispy, was a man who wore a regular large black pirate cap and had a wooden stump for his left leg. Also, he was swarthy and wore a heavy beard. The pirate next in charge was Lieutenant Kellie Skully. She wore a patch on her left eye plus a pirate cap that had a skull on it and she used a metal hook for her right hand.
The two leaders and their crew of a few dozen pirates were swabbing the deck. Everyone was busy except for one lazy pirate, Flint. His lack of work did not cut it with the bosses.
Skully told him, “Flint, I’ve had it with you. I warned you that if you did not start pulling your weight, you would suffer the consequences. You’re going to walk the plank.”
Skully then looked toward the insubordinate pirate’s fellow crew members and said, “Boys, take him to the plank and make him jump overboard.” Obeying her command, they made the freeloader walk the plank and jump overboard as they had their cutlasses drawn toward his back. After plunging into the water, he began swimming. Who knows how far he will make it?
The pirates aboard the ship laughed “ar har. This calls for a celebrrration,” roared Crispy. He and everyone on the ship feasted on hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, shrimp, lobster and other foods before playing various card games. Soon they started approaching shore.
This prompted one of the leaders to beckon, “Ahoy, mates. We are arrriving at West Palm Beach, Florida. Let’s plunderrr some goods.” The pirates soon bought a movers truck, and then walked into an electronics store and ran out with television sets, radios and cash registers. They quickly loaded up their truck and sped away. They drove to their ship and started traveling on the Atlantic Ocean in order to avoid staying on the road.
There were people on a beach in Miami, Florida, on this Tuesday afternoon. Some of the kids were making sand castles while their parents were soaking up sunlight either by sitting in folding beach chairs or lying on towels on top of the sand. Some of the kids and adults played beach volleyball, swam or rode surfboards on the waves together. All of the visitors were having a load of fun until the pirates arrived on their ship with the intent to rob them at sword point and gun point.
The pirates opened up large sacks, placed them on the ground and told the beach-goers, “Put your wallets, purrrses and bling into these sacks.”
Some victims were more compliant than others. Dark Beard told a hesitant woman to put her purse into his sack. As she reluctantly started to obey, her husband charged the pirate and said, “Back off!” Dark Beard swung his sword over the man’s head and said, “I won’t give you another warrrning lash, so I suggest you and your wife cooperrrate.”
The man backed away and his wife gave up her purse. The pirates soon finished their business and set sail. As they made their getaway, authorities in Hawaii, Mexico, Cuba and the Bahamas were notified. The pirates soon arrived on an island in the Bahamas, only to meet their doom.
Law enforcement officials emerged from hiding, commandeered the ship and told the pirates they were under arrest for grand theft, robbery and armed criminal action. The pirates decided to put up a fight. A few of them charged the cops with their swords but were shot. The other pirates on the deck were told to drop their weapons. All of them complied with the order except Captain Rocco Crispy and Corporal Dark Beard. As they pulled back their cutlasses to throw at the police, they were shot in the chest.
Suddenly, a few pirates emerged from the forecastle onto the deck and shot a few cops in the back or chest. One of the cops was critically wounded from being shot in the back while two of her partners were not seriously hurt due to wearing a bulletproof vest. The three pirates who just shot at the police were instantly killed. Recognizing that they could not win, Lieutenant Kellie Skully said, “We surrender.” As she and all of the other pirates dropped their weapons and put their hands up above their heads, they were taken into custody.