Scary Movie 5 (2013) The Weinstein Company
1 hr. 25 mins.
Starring: Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Terry Crews, Mike Tyson, Kate Walsh, Regina Hall, Katt Williams, Anthony Anderson, Chris Elliott, Jerry O’Connell, Snoop Dogg, Sarah Hyland, Heather Locklear
Directed by: Malcolm D. Lee
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Critic’s rating: * star (out of 4 stars)
Quite honestly, we needed another Scary Movie installment much like an aging shaggy dog needs to open up his own flea-infested hotel. Still, it did not stop the powers-that-be to cram another random and pointless sequel down the throats of moviegoers at the box office. Sure, one can make an argument that the reason behind cranking out the fetid film franchise that is the Scary Movie series is because there actually is a devoted fan base for this monotonous mockery. Again, one can also take a stance for why a case of rickets should exist as well.
Scary Movie 5 (or its pseudo clever title “Scary MoVie”) is the woefully tired fifth edition of the raucous comedy creeper that insists on spoofing the past and present Hollywood hits and misses. When well-known media train wrecks such as Scary Movie vet Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are considered the spicy elements in this severe hammy hodge-podge of baseless chuckles then you know must realize how desperate the material has to be in order to coral a few guilty pleasure chuckles.
Malcolm D. Lee, who directed the reasonably cheeky Blaxploitation spoof Undercover Brother, feels completely lost as he oversees this faint-hearted farce with all the urgency of a grammar school hall monitor. Lee simply allows the half-baked ruckus to spatter without any particular rhyme or reason behind the eye-rolling manufactured insanity.
As outlandishly naughty that Scary Movie 5 tries to be in its cluttered wackiness, the movie toils aimlessly while trying to patch together a string of over-the-top recycled craziness that fails to remotely register. Scary Movie 5 may manage to wring a hearty laugh or two and offer a mere sight gag here and there but otherwise struggles to consistently generate the off-kilter, crude-minded madness.
The crying shame here is that David Zucker, the comedic mastermind responsible for the infectiously funny Airplane and Naked Gun movies that defined yesteryear’s spoof-making cinema movement, is connected to this wretched affair with co-writing and producing credits. Certainly Scary Movie 5 is not indicative of the inventive nuttiness that catapulted Zucker alongside his brother Jerry and partner Jim Abrahams back in the heyday.
In a nutshell, Scary Movie 5-as with its predecessors-lazily lampoons the latest releases while being populated with an assembly of pop cultural personalities along for the uneventful ride. On the radar in Scary Movie 5’s nonsensical sights includes baseless swipes at Mama, Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Sinister, Evil Dead and Inception. As an added “bonus” of sorts, the movie flaunts its rollicking chops from the flippant African-American viewpoint. After all, there is nothing like instilling that urbanized toxic touch, right?
In what poses as a main plotline, Ashley Tisdale (former Disney Channel starlet seemingly replacing Scary Movie mainstay Anna Faris) and her clueless hubby (Simon Rex) move into a haunted house along with their demon-possessed adopted brood. From there the witless and wasteful antics take off and spread as gracefully as measles on a city rat.
Predictable, painfully conceived and shockingly shoddy, Scary Movie 5 is surprisingly old hat in its unimaginative skin to skew some of today’s cockeyed contemporary films. Let’s face it…do we really need the annoying continuation of the one-note Scary Movie sequels to put a spotlight on how ridiculous other big screen fare are in comparison? In fact, this particular prolonged parody has long since run its inconsequential course.
Aforementioned media-attention malcontents Sheen and Lohan may briefly revel in the cheap frivolity of this vacuous vehicle (along with the other cast of wayward cut-ups willing to shamelessly mug before the cameras in this jaw-dropping junk) but for others Scary Movie 5 is nothing more than an 85-minute smirk that has nowhere to go but south in the depths of groundless, gross guffaws.