Here’s the scenario:
Your kids are like tiny tornadoes invading every serene spot you have in the house. Messes pile up faster than your head can spin and then the fighting starts.You can feel your head starting to pound and your blood pressure rising. Before you even know what you are doing, you find yourself acting just like them, yelling at the top of your lungs.
If this scene sounds familiar you are not alone. I was a very laid back person before I had kids. Then I had three kids in six years.
Let me preface this by saying my kids are not running around through my house all day unsupervised while I watch TV or play on my I pad. I home school so I actually do have an order to our day. However, young kids just have an exhausting amount of energy.
The yelling started sometime after I had my second child. First of all I had a lot of post hormonal things going on after I had my daughter and I also had a three year old. Suddenly I found myself getting really angry about stupid things. Usually it wasn’t that one thing that set me off, but a plethora of things all combined that caused the outburst. Scream free parenting is hard work.
You know that moment when you know you just yelled like a two year old at your child……the child you are supposed to be teaching how to handle their own emotions. It doesn’t leave you feeling really great.
I immediately started praying that God would help me find patience. After I prayed I always felt good because I knew I had laid it at God’s feet, but then a few days later without thinking something would set me off and there I’d go again.
So I started googling. Wow! A lot of moms struggle with this. Nice to know its not just me. I found a site http://theorangerhino.com/ that I love. I love her ideas. I hate the color orange so I’ll probably pick a different color as my reminder to not yell though.
Here is my struggle though. I could have the whole house painted pink, have spent the morning doing calming techniques, and praying and still in the heat of the moment forget not to yell. It happens quickly. I really understand the comparison to a switch being turned on. So, I started doing with myself what I do to my son when he yells at me or his sister. I have a redo. I call whoever I yelled at back in the room. I apologize and I repeat the same thing in a calm manner with no yelling.
Since I started doing this, somehow it has made me much more aware. I have actually remembered not to yell while I’m still yelling. This is huge because normally I would finish yelling and just feel bad afterwards. Having to repeat the request in a nice manner is slowly turning into a habit that I hope will begin before I yell soon.
I feel that if I cannot demonstrate control over my emotions it is very hard to expect my kids to demonstrate that. I cannot just tell them don’t yell if they see me doing it.
Scream free parenting is my goal. I know there are times they deserve to be yelled at, but I like a saying I pinned a long time ago. ” Don’t yell at your kids. Lean in and whisper, it’s much scarier.”