Are you at a crossroads? Where you feel a sudden pull for something different, but then resistance from what you are used to? You may be questioning the direction of your career, your close friends, and yourself. Are you experiencing a quarter-life crisis? These are five signs and solutions.
1) Self-Doubt. Our identity is central to our way of life. Doubting who we are would make life seem very confusing and uncertain. One day could turn into a week, then months of, “I’m trying to get my life together.” One of my friends told me she spent weeks cleaning out her closet. Personally, I have been “figuring out my life” during the past year; “Is this the life I was meant to live? Is this who God wants me to be?”
2) Questioning your career path. Many of us have a particular career training or focus. Sometimes even though we may be bored with it, we stick to it because that is all we think we know. Or it may be scary to change. The questions I started asking were, “Do I absolutely love this? Is this my true purpose in life? Would I impact the most people the way I want to with this career?” Researchers from Case Western Reserve University found that about every 7 years (+/-2) we go through a cycle of excitement to boredom with our careers. This is what most people know it as mid-life crisis.
3) Feeling insecure about your relationships. With a change in identity and perspective, trying to relay that to someone who already knows you can be difficult. I found it hard to express my thoughts and feelings to my close friends. As a result, this led to feeling insecure about trusting relationships; “can I trust you with my new thoughts?”
4) Wanting to get away. I had the feeling of wanting to hide out for a couple of days. I wanted to take some time away, just God and I to think, pray and read some scriptures to give me some clarity.
5) Comparing yourself with others. When we cannot see the good in our situation, other people’s lives seem better than ours. This leads to comparing ourselves with others. I have been guilty of doing that. I found myself comparing what I was doing with what others were doing and feeling more insecure.
1) Read scriptures on your identity in Christ.
2) Study out your strengths and weaknesses. Understand what you are good at and what you love to do. Ask your friends as well. From this, write out your ideal self and read it to yourself daily.
3) Ask yourself if your life were perfect, what would you really want.
4) Ask yourself where you would want to be 10years from now, set goals and make strides to get there.
5) Confide in trust-worthy friends who can give you wise advice.
Inspiring Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence Course by Richard Boyatzis www.coursera.org taken May-June 2013