I started my adulthood earlier than most. I had my first child at 17 and by 25, I was married for 6 years, a college graduate, mother of two, stay-at-home mom turned business professional, a home owner, and soccer mom; I felt like I was living two parallel lives in one body. While many of my peers and high school classmates were just figuring out their lives, I felt like I had already lived mine. I had already lived the life that they were just beginning, for the past 10 years. Then my husband left, wanted a divorce, took most of our stuff, did not want the kids, we had to sell the house, and the kids and I had to start over. I was 25/26 years old, and went in to crisis mode.
I cried like a spoiled brat. For days and hours on end. I felt sorry for me and my stuff and I was mad and hurt and I hated everything and the entire world sucked and I wanted nothing to do with any of it.
Clearly, this behavior was a reverting to childhood behavior. It was a regression from all that we as children growing in to adults are taught to change, handle, mature, and think. While it is OK to mourn or be hurt, it is not OK to be stubborn, take your feelings out as though life is an all or nothing, everyone or no one situation.
I went back to school to get my Master’s degree in something totally different than each of my Bachelor’s degrees were in.
I went from Bachelor’s and minors in Management, HR, Sociology, Econ and Philosophy to a Master’s and teaching certificate in special education and leadership and development.
I asked for a layoff from my current job to take courses to make a huge career change from a higher pay potential to a lower pay potential over the long haul of the career.
Yeah, I sure did. I also took out my very first student loan. Boy, was that dumb. Not to mention that half way through the program the teacher’s union did major layoffs and put in a hiring freeze.
I sold most of my possessions that we had left to start over and fresh.
We went from a 1200 sq. foot home and yard with minimal left in it after the divorce, to a 2800 sq. foot open loft apartment in the city with nothing in it but air, space, and time.
I left one job for a less stable one with less requirements so I could stay at home more with my kids.
I don’t regret that for a second. Still, it made us financially unstable, and then they laid me off due to not enough work three months ago.
I began to live life number two. I started dating and will be married to an old friend of mine from college, who has three kids of his own.
Yeah. Blended family. 5 kids. Oh boy.