My paternal grandfather would always say that if I wanted to stay young, I had to surround myself with young people at all times. “Being around young people keeps your mind active,” Grandpa would say. Now that I am well into my 30’s, I am faced with the daunting task of trying to remain as youthful as I can. No facial cream can disguise the cracking in your bones that you feel after 30. Once you have admittedly reached your quarter-life crisis, there are some things that ultimately change whether you like it or not.
1. Your Fashion Choices Change
When my husband and I met, I don’t think I had any shoes with a heel height under 31/2 inches. A couple of months ago not even halfway through our date my eyes welled up with tears because of the sheer pain my pinky toe endured from my 4 inch Louboutins. I now carry a pair of flip flops with me all the time.
2. Dishwashers Excite You
I never thought I would be that woman, but when I walk into Home Depot I hear cherubs rejoice as I scan the endless rows of dishwashers, washers, and dryers. I immediately envision myself with my silent washer, and tears of joy flow as I think of how happy I would be on the spin cycle.
3. Your Phone Conversations Change
I used to call my mom and listen to her talk about things in which I couldn’t relate. Now our conversations are usually a rough exchange of sleeping patterns, medications, and the types of arm braces that will help your carpal tunnel. I find myself calling my mother and asking about everything from hot flashes and back pains, to bone density tests. Needless to say, my mother and I have become closer than ever.
4. Girl’s Night Out Ends at 11:30pm
My girlfriends and I went to one of the top party schools in the country and we all came out with two degrees. The first degree was whatever discipline we decided on our Junior year (yeah, that late), and the second was Hangover Management. These days, my girlfriends and I are sometimes worn out before the club even opens up the dance floor. You know its time to call it quits when halfway through getting dressed you fall asleep in your Spanx and your fake eyelashes.
5. The Word Ma’am Freaks You Out
One evening as I came home from work a group of guys drove by in a car beeping their horn and yelling out the window. My husband looked at me and said, “Enjoy it now, honey. One day there won’t be anyone beeping.” These days there are no horns beeping; Only polite head nods as they pass by. One wrong Ma’am on a day that you thought you were hot stuff can mess up your entire week. Getting older is definitely not for the faint of heart.