Relationships take some practice to get good at. You may think that all it takes is love, but after being in a few relationships, you learn that there is more to it. This article shares some of the things that I learned from my relationship with my ex. Hopefully, you can avoid these pitfalls.
Telling that Person Everything
You don’t need to tell someone everything about you or everything that you are thinking at every moment when you are in a relationship. Sharing your feelings is fine, but the person doesn’t need to learn everything about you so quickly. There should be a little mystery there, or else the relationship can get boring real fast. I told my ex everything I possibly could and he used that information to make judgments about me and to make me feel bad about myself.
Living Together Too Quickly
Another thing I did in my previous relationship was moving in too quickly together. You should wait at least a year before you move in with someone and I did not do that. I gave myself no chance to see that he was a bad person in the little time that I spent with him.
Making Your World Revolve Around Someone Else
When you are in a relationship, you should still focus on what you want to get out of life. In my past, I have focused solely on what the other person was doing and made adjustments to fit into their life. In the process, I lost who I was.
Listen to Others
None of my family or friends thought that my ex was a good person. They didn’t believe that I should continue my relationship with him. In the beginning, I told myself that they just didn’t understand him. Now, I realize that no one can understand someone who behaves the way he did. If nobody you know approves of your lover, you may want to heed their advice.
Don’t Be Controlled
My ex was very abusive and he controlled everything that I did. He made sure he knew what I was doing at all times. When he was at work and I was at home, he wanted me to call him every hour just so he knew I was still there. This is sick behavior in a relationship and everyone should be on the look-out for early warning signs of this type of behavior.
Keep Your Family and Friends
Over the course of my relationship with my ex, I lost many friends. I wasn’t able to talk to them and they were moving on with their lives. I also developed poor relationships with my family because my boyfriend didn’t want me to see them, either. My father would always say that he would be there for me no matter what and that you only get one father. He was right. After getting out of my relationship with my ex, I had to mend my relationships with my family members.
Relationships can be learning experiences. I jumped into mine looking for the love of my life and was blinded to all of his bad qualities and all the mistakes that I was making. Even though there are some things that I regret doing over the course of that relationship, I wouldn’t take them back because now I am stronger and smarter because of that experience.
