When I was 13, the Galleria Mall in Taunton, Massachusetts, was pretty new and the best place to hang out and try all of the samples the food court had to offer. My best friend and I would hit Bath and Body Works and douse ourselves in designer fragrances; and the stench we omitted by the end of any mall escapade would probably be enough to gag someone. What did we care? We had fun, and lived in the moment. All we knew was being 13. Ah, to be young again.
On a Saturday afternoon, my best friend’s mom had dropped us off at the mall to go on our usual weekend mall tryst. First we would hit the amazing pretzel stand and try one of the awesome cinnamon sugar soft pretzels with chocolate dipping sauce, and then we’d walk around and meet up with other friends, stopping to take pictures in the photo booths and having fun in the arcade. On this particular day, I must have had one too many Orange Julius’s, because I realized I had to find a bathroom, and quick. I also, unfortunately, was on my time of the month.
I found the nearest bathroom sign, and made a beeline for stall number one.
I went about my business, and came out of the bathroom to meet my friends back outside the food court. We began walking down the long stretch of second floor heaven, when my dad, unbeknownst to me that he was even there, showed up behind me. Well, not directly behind me, but far enough back where he had to cup his hands around his mouth and shout out to me. “Sarah!” was all I heard, and I remember swinging my head around and seeing him walking in my direction. ‘Oh, wonderful’, was what ran through my mind. My embarrassing father, showing up at the mall, undoubtedly to give me some type of grief about something. I knew I was in for it; I always was when he made public appearances around me.
“Hey! Sarah! You have something hanging out the back of your pants! It looks like toilet paper!” he shouted after me. I remember just freezing where I stood, like a deer in headlights, and slowly turned around. There, trailing behind me, was a piece of toilet paper long enough to be mistaken for a wedding dress train, and on it was blood. The only thing I wanted to do from that moment was to walk five steps in front of me, climb onto the balcony railing, and jump. I remember my face being so bright red; I was so mortified. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to cut it. Could this really be happening to me? In the middle of the mall? In front of all of these people?
My world felt like it was going to crash into a million pieces.
Lucky for me, I had some amazing friends. Jen pulled me over to the side of the corridor, and helped me remove the embarrassment from the back of my pants. Who on earth uses such insanely long pieces of toilet paper, anyway? Apparently I did, and I was unaware just how many trees I helped to kill every day. Shame on me.
Somehow, I managed to survive the most embarrassing moment of my life.
What were some of your most embarrassing moments?