I had heard stories and rumors of wild spring breaks my whole life. This season I thought I would give it a try just to see, first hand, what the hullabaloo was all about. Where I come from, spring break means getting with a group of your friends and heading out to Florida for a few days, maybe even a week. Anything could happen, romance, escapades, adventure, excitement, just about anything.
A few of my friends had taken a spring break in the past. They had their exploits to relate and their conquests to brag about. I would listen intently as they told of their romantic encounters and sexual “libations.” I never had reason to doubt them. I never had cause to question any of the torrid details. The tales were retold so thoroughly that I knew I just had to get down there one of these times. My buddies, man they must really lead a grand life. So this was the year, the year I would see what spring break was all about.
I hadn’t told anyone I was going with them because I didn’t make my mind up until the last day before spring break. I had already packed a few meager belongings; hygiene supplies, several changes of underwear and a few shirts. I was in a hurry so I just threw the bag in the backseat of my car and raced over to my buddy’s house.
He wasn’t home. His mother said she didn’t know where he was, but thought he may have left for the cabin up North already. When I asked her if he was going to Florida she gave me the strangest “deer in the headlight” look I had ever seen. She had no idea what I was talking about. That’s right, I thought to myself, they always kept their spring break exploits a secret from everyone in their family.
So I made one more stop over to another buddy’s house. I get the same reaction. He too was supposed to be going to a cabin up North. I was a little puzzled but I figured these guys have done it so often they have it worked out to a science. Their parents never knew the difference.
Finally I came to the conclusion that I was going to have to drive to Florida by myself. I had already made my reservation. I reserved the same hotel these guys said they always stayed at. It was pretty expensive but they said I had to stay there, you know, to get the best exposure. So I did it.
I lived in Detroit and Florida would be about a 24 hour, straight through, drive so I headed out. I got on highway US75 and put the pedal to the metal with nary a thought of slowing down. I was at my destination in 26 hours with no more than a three-hour nap on the way.
They were right, women were everywhere. All of them it seemed were scantily clad in the tiniest bikinis you could imagine. My eyes took in the full sight and my ears heard nothing but giggles.
I checked at the desk to see if my buddies had checked in yet. None of their names could be found anyplace. I gave the clerk my credit card and literally ran to my room. I could hardly wait to get out on the beach and start my famous “Spring Break!”
I made it to my room, unpacked, took a quick shower and cleaned up. Then I put my new trunks on and my “sexiest” Hawaiian shirt I had. I left the shirt hang open to expose my budding “six-pack.” Well it really wasn’t a six-pack, yet, but it was a fine two-liter.
I made my way down to the lobby and just looked around a little. I noticed some of the girls looking my way and smiling. That made me feel pretty good, but I didn’t want to get anything started yet so I just waved at them. I strutted around a bit then picked a nice big chair in the lounge from where I could see everybody who came in and went out.
I was watching the incoming traffic when I spotted a rather wealthy looking woman. She must have been in her 60s, but boy did she look loaded. She didn’t touch a single one of her bags. She didn’t look anyone in the eye, or should I say nobody dared make eye contact with her. She slowly glided across the room.
When she had gotten about half way across the lobby I could see her nod slightly in a certain direction. Before I could follow her gaze to see where it was she was nodding, a new body entered my field of vision. It was one of my buddies. He jumped up, grabbed her bags and started walking one or two paces behind her going to the desk.
I didn’t know he worked at the hotel when he was here. He was dressed basically the same way I was. Would the hotel allow their employees to dress like that? I jumped up to go talk to him and see what was up. He turned snow white when he saw me. I got to his side just in time to hear the elderly woman say to the clerk “Yes, he’s with me.”
What? She couldn’t have even known him. I was sure he didn’t know her. What was going on? He told me to get lost; he’ll talk to me later. As he disappeared into the elevator right behind the rich, elderly lady, I figured out what was going on all by myself.
Sure enough, about three hours later he came back down to the lobby with guilty written all over his face. “So, this is your idea of an exciting Spring Break vacation?” I asked. He replied, “It isn’t what it looks like, well not exactly anyway.”
We talked for a while; he spilled his guts and told me all three of them spent their vacation this same way. They were gigolos for the wealthy. They got paid handsomely and still had exploits to talk about when they got home.
Well, my spring break was going to be just a little bit different than this. In fact, the whole idea of any kind of a spring break had just been so muddied that I just had to get home. I checked out early, jumped in my car and drove, non-stop, the 24 hours back home. I spent spring break the same way I had spent it for years and the same way I decided to spend it from then on. Just relaxing and actually taking a break.
