I was 25 when I had my son. In hindsight, while I don’t regret having my son, I don’t think it would’ve hurt me to have waited a little longer. My finances weren’t the absolute best. I was going to college full-time, working full-time, and renovating the home I lived in.
If I could give any advice to a couple that was exploring the possibility of expanding their family it would be to consider their current situation. Do you have a stable and loving home? Take a look at the finances as well. I was out of pocket around $5,000 for the birth of my son.
Also, consider the little things. I truly didn’t expect to be picking boogers, cleaning poop off my fingers, or having those sticky little banana finger prints all over my pants and furniture after lunchtime. All at the same time, those are the things I have grown to love. They are part of my life now.
My Nine Months
My pregnancy was unintentional but welcoming. I had been with my boyfriend at the time, now my husband, for six years. It was August of 2010 when I got that first pregnancy test. My mind was racing. I made appointments and started planning immediately. I knew I was around 10 weeks. Several weeks after the positive pregnancy test, my boyfriend rushed me to the ER for severe bleeding and abdominal pain. The sonogram showed there was no heartbeat and we were both devastated. We had lost the baby. I was so heartbroken and our happiness had turned to bitter sadness.
As a couple, we started thinking seriously about marriage and a family. They were both something that we wanted to experience and decided to let fate decide if the timing was right. We didn’t rush into getting pregnant again but several months later, we got some more happy news … another positive pregnancy test.
Six months into the pregnancy, we married. Three months after our marriage and after 31 hours of labor, we had a healthy baby. Shortly after that, I graduated college. It was the best year of my life.
Only each person can decide if having a family is right for them. For me, my heart was telling me I wanted a family but my mind was telling me to wait. I have mixed feelings about the timing I chose. I love my son with every fiber of my being. In the same breath, I wish I would’ve finished college first. I wish I would’ve been better off financially so I could’ve taken more time off from work when he was a newborn. I am always going to want the very best for my child.