College is hectic: from classes, to extracurricular activities, to the the weekend nights that make students sleep all day. The pressures of college combined with still-developing maturity levels and steadily growing responsibilities can take a toll on any college relationship.
Five months into a relationship that’s only just starting to smooth out, I can testify to this fact. Anything from personality differences to weekend plans can cause a war, and arguments like these can completely dry up the passion in any young relationship. Through my own, I’ve learned that there are several things that can keep college love stress-free:
Remember Where You Are: College really is the time to have experiences and discover who you are. Sometimes your boyfriend or girlfriend’s own “discovery” may cause friction between the two of you. When this happens, try to see the issue as if it were something that you just wanted to try. Really understand that college is a time to be unruly while getting serious. If something is still bothering you, talk about it honestly and explain why certain things are bothersome. Oftentimes, there is a similar experience available that both of you would be comfortable with so long as the proper understanding is demonstrated.
Tone It Down: Many people in college don’t have that much relationship experience. Yes, most people have done some dating or had a few flings, but generally college kids aren’t exactly trained romantics. Keep this in mind during an argument: The person you’re with probably isn’t used to thinking in a relationship mindset. Learning to think for two is hard; it takes work and effort. Staying calm and explaining your side without accusations will train this over time. That being said, you have to be open-minded to contrasting feelings yourself.
Don’t Forget the Little Things: Arguments are rough; they can leave you feeling under-appreciated and unloved. A college environment and budget aren’t exactly conducive to lots of nice date nights or tons of fun activities, so don’t forgo any small opportunity to show that you care. Write a note, show appreciation when something sweet happens. When you both feel appreciated and start to notice how the other tries and cares, you will be more likely to favor forgiveness over fighting.
College relationships are work, but they can be worth it. Even with arguments, a little effort and consideration to the circumstances you share could lead to a happy and fulfilling relationship.