Parenting multiples takes a lot of hard work and patience. As a parent of twins, I have learned a great deal about multiples. I had a singleton prior to my two children and the experiences have been quite different. Here are the five most important lessons I learned from parenting multiples.
Focus on Individuality
Twins are like anyone else and want their own one on one time with mom and dad. I was a stay at home mom with all of my kids. The twins would become jealous at about six months old when I would pick one up and not the other. I decided to try to make quality time with them a priority. When my husband would get home from work, we would spend one hour with each child and then switch for meals and bed time. This helped to make each of them feel secure.
Do Not Dress Twins Alike
Before I had my kids, I thought dressing kids the same way was cute. I have found that they do not like dressing the same because they look identical to each other. They want to wear different colors so that they stand out from each other.
Make Children Become Socialized
My twins could talk to each other all day long. However, it is important for them to socialize with other kids who are not related to them. I have found that twins often feel tethered to each other because they were born at the same time. I had to let them go and socialize. The first time I did this was when they were two years old and they were at the park. My son Dylan made a friend on the slide and only talked to his brother once who was playing in the sandbox with another little boy.
Ask for Help When Needed
Having multiples made me have to face the fact that I needed help sometimes. With my first child, I had been very independent. I was able to go to school online and care for my son. Now, I had three kids and two of them were home all day long and were babies. I became much more organized when I asked for help from my husband and his family members. This helped me get a break at times which is something many moms of multiples avoid because they often feel that they need to take on too much and neglect their own health and happiness.
Make the Family Cohesive
My son was four when the twins were born. He was very excited at first but as they got older, he felt left out. It is important for parents of multiples to focus on having a cohesive environment. This means that everyone even mom and dad feels like they are valued.