Darth thought he was the king of it all until he strolled into Jurassic Park and met T-Rex, another king of it all. Darth thought he’d take his Empire-cal power to a new level and have a go at Jurassic Park – ‘Shouldn’t we chat about this first Darth? I mean it is Jurassic Park’. Jurassic Park is no safari, it is miles ahead of that. And if you are going sightseeing, hunting or combative in Jurassic Park, one may need a Lamborghini or Ferrari to get away or keep distance from this crazy bunch (the Dinosaurs) – ‘isn’t that right T and all you others out there? (talking to T-Rex and the other Dinosaurs). A safari 4WD will simply not do.
I’m not even going to attempt to verbalize the different names of the Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, or the Dinosaur era in general. But I know of T-Rex, and if Darth wants the biggest and the best coming at him (good luck with that Darth), then T-Rex is the Dinosaur to beat. Talk about David, or in this case Darth, versus Goliath. Darth and T-Rex…Are….You…. Ready…Too… Rumble.
So Darth is going to need some assistance here, so what can he do? What strategies and tactics does Darth have here? Well firstly, Darth might be fairly tall and powerful in his own right but not compared to T-Rex – ‘Me big, you small’ (in T-Rex language). ‘Meee, Darth Vader, small’. Sorry Darth, T-Rex is right in this case. So a boxing or kickboxing match is out of the question. But Darth can use his Empire-cal power and zappestry to subdue the big beast, like a Matador saying ‘Toro, Toro’, or in this case, ‘T-Rex, T-Rex’, in Bull-fighting. Or, and if Darth wants a real up-close-and-personal with T-Rex, Darth can do a Rodeo-style effort where Darth can ride T-Rex for the ‘Jurassic Park Rodeo Competition’ or ‘Rise of the Chihuahua’s’ – ‘Go Darth Go’.
Darth could try a one-on-one rap contest with T-Rex or a group effort with Darth and Storm Troopers and versus T-Rex and the other hard to pronounce names of Dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park hood; after all it is their hood. But it will be pretty much a whole lot of HeehaHeeha (Darth’s breathing in his infamous mask) and POWER-talk versus a whole lot of ROAR-ing from T-Rex at different crescendos and decrescendos with Darth testing his infamous black mask to the limits – ‘Sorry, ear plugs and sound proof walls and glasses are useless here’. Actually, that’s a good question, ‘is Darth’s black out-fit sound proof?’ Well, that’s if Darth can find a big enough sock to put in T-Rex’s mouth and sock-it-to-him.
All in all, Darth better have that Lamborghini or Ferrari on hand, just in case. The only thing is good luck finding a way through the jungle. Now that’s what I’m calling a real ‘Rumble in the Jungle’. Darth better bring Luke (Skywalker), Bear Grylls or Jackie Chan for this effort.