Fisherman: Fresh fish! Come and buy your fresh fish here! Caught them myself! Step right up for some delicious fresh fish!
Socrates: Hey, do you mind? I am trying to touch myself in front of that gymnasium over there and all I hear is you yelling about your stinking sturgeons. Can you shut up?
Fisherman: I most certainly will not! And they are not sturgeons, they are tuna.
Socrates: Hey, I know my fish and those are sturgeons.
Fisherman: Well you obviously don’t because these are not sturgeons, they are tuna. See, you can tell becau-… hey! What are you doing!
Socrates: Sorry, but this one was looking at me with lust in his fly-covered eyes, And those pouting lips… I got so excited my panties fell off.
Fisherman: I will thank you not to sexually harass my wares, sir. Now, if you don’t mind…
Socrates: And what if I do mind?
Fisherman: Excuse me?
Socrates: Why, did you break wind? I said, what if I do mind?
Fisherman: I’m afraid I don’t care, now please move along if you aren’t going to buy anything.
Socrates: You insensitive fanny-fondler! I was going to ask you if you wanted to shave my back but now you can forget it! Take this!
Fisherman: Hey, get your tongue out of that fish! Help! Guards!
Socrates: Oh relax, I wasn’t hurting him…yet. We didn’t get far enough in our relationship for me to know whether he’s into that.
Fisherman: You old pervert, if you don’t leave now I will have you arrested.
Socrates: Aw, come on, don’t be such a butt-miner. You’re awfully mean, are you constipated?
Fisherman: Put down the fish and stop making it talk.
Socrates: Hey, wait, I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Socrates and my favorite color is cat. I’m afraid of lasagna, and so is my daimon. Say hi to the nice man, Dorcas!
Fisherman: Its name is Dorcas?
Socrates: Of course! Oh, what’s that Dorcas? Our fisherman’s merchandise smells like the unwashed lap of a French escort? Oh, you’re terrible!
Fisherman: Oh for Athena’s sake would you just leave? You’re scaring off my customers.
Socrates: Oh, Dorcas wants to know if you are married. Sounds like someone’s been bitten by the love bug!
Fisherman: Yes I am now go away.
Socrates: Are you married to one of these sturgeons? Oh, you old scumbag, congratulations!
Fisherman: That’s it! I’m going to fetch a guard!
Socrates: Wait, don’t leave! If you do, Dorcas will burn me with a cigar. Don’t let him hurt me! Please!
Fisherman: You’re mad, I’m going now.
Socrates: Ahhh!! See? Look what you did! *Lifts arm, showing a cigar burn*
Fisherman: By the gods!
Socrates: See?? I told ya, now Dorcas is mad. He wants you to take off your shirt or he’s going to make me cry.
Fisherman: Wait, what is going-
Socrates: *Falls down* Ah! Don’t hurt me!
Fisherman: Ok! Ok! I’m taking it off!
Socrates: Faster! Now he wants you to turn around and do jumping jacks. Really make your back fat jiggle, he likes that.
Fisherman: Oh, this isn’t happening.
Socrates: Yea, just like that.
Fisherman: Can I stop now?
Socrates: Not yet. Now he wants you to admit those are not tuna.
Fisherman: Fine! They are not tuna! Are you satisfied now?
Socrates: Aha! I knew it! You feisty little leprechaun! Thought you could pull one over on us, did you?
Fisherman: In the name of the gods, I’m getting out of here.
Socrates: Fine by me. Unfortunately for you, Dorcas really, really liked your jumping jacks and he’s decided to mate with you. Congratulations again!
Fisherman: No! No!! Ahhhhhhhh!!