The time has arrived to consider how and where to move our elder. The time for in-home care is nearly over. Thus far it has not been easy, but by now I don’t expect easy. It helps make the difficulties easier to handle since I can plan more time for them. Here are some of the details you may need to know when that time comes for your family.
Convincing: Our elder is not convinced she needs to move. If she does, she wants to move in with one of her sons. There are problems with that, but she won’t accept them. I’ve talked to the staff of several facilities. They told me that this is a common problem and that they know how to deal with it. I wonder if they know what they might have on their hands when we do make the move. I doubt it.
Paperwork: There are reams of forms that have to be filled out. A doctor has to fill some out. A nurse has to fill some out. We have to fill out most of them. You might be surprised by how many times you have to sign, initial and/or date things.
We also have to provide paperwork. The letter of incompetence has to be presented and a copy made. The durable power of attorney documents have to be presented as does the advance directive. They will have to keep a copy of the latter and some want a copy of the dpoa paperwork.
Stuff: After decades in a home we all collect a lot of stuff. Most of it is perfectly good and perfectly usable. Some of it is not. Someone has to sort through all the stuff and pack up items that are wanted. This includes the garage, which has become the place of last resort for items we “might want down the road.” No, I don’t think I want to store three bins worth of Styrofoam cups and party napkins. I particularly don’t want the ones that show signs of occupancy by things other than a glass of punch.
Storage: What items we keep will probably have to go into storage somewhere. I know none of us have room for even one more stick of furniture. Most of it is the wrong size or shape for our homes. It’s valuable and should last until we do need it, but…
Estate Sale: I’ve always thought of these as being done after someone has passed on, but I don’t think so now. What items we don’t want could be given away but we don’t really want to do that. Giving away thousands of dollars worth of furniture just doesn’t appeal. This will take place after all of the tossing and storage is done so that everyone already has what is wanted.
Punishment: Don’t think you’re going to get off easily here. If your elder doesn’t want to move and you make them do so they will make your life difficult. They will hurt you. They will enjoy doing it. The same could go for siblings if they don’t get what they want out of it. We’re hoping to avoid the latter.
This move isn’t going to be easy in any definition of the term. It’s going to be physically difficult. It’s going to be mentally difficult and it’s going to be emotionally difficult. The only plus is we know what to expect and how to plan for it.