After having been in the business world for over 70 years, I thought it might be time to retire. I was 90 and had never ceased working. People my age were retiring all the time! I thought there might be something to be said about doing this.
Ann and I were getting ready to go out to a restaurant we’d heard about but had never patronized. Acting on a sudden thought, I said, “I’d like to see how it feels to be retired. I won’t wear the hairpiece tonight.”
“You’ll do nothing of the kind,” she retorted. “You’ve hit a new high of foolishness.”
At work I wore a toupee because I wanted to appear as contemporary as possible. As a retired person, I wouldn’t be wearing one every day.
Despite Ann’s objection, I insisted on going out without the hairpiece. Ann drove to Ronzoni’s Italian Grill, and I sat beside her with an unclad head. This was a first for me. I had never ventured outdoors without artificial hair since I had a toupee made many years before.
When we arrived at the restaurant, I sauntered through the door feeling greatly uncomfortable. Ann had been right. I felt like an idiot. The server performed her duties in an efficient manner, never saying a thing to acknowledge my state of nakedness. I was greatly puzzled.
“She didn’t say a word,” I said to Ann on our way home.
“What did you expect?” she responded.
I felt this was not a good reply since I had definitely looked different.
The following week, I suggested we go to the same restaurant. Something hadn’t gone well the first time and I needed to find out why. This time, however, I did wear the hairpiece.
There was a different server this time and he made no comment about my appearance. On the way home, Ann repeated her statement from the first time.
“What did you expect?” This remark did not alleviate my feelings of being ignored.
At home, I phoned my brother. “Tony,” I began. Ann and I went to Ronzoni’s two weeks in a row. I didn’t wear my toupee the first time but I did the second. Nobody said a word either time. Nobody noticed! What’s was the matter with those people?”
“Are you joking?” he asked.
“No, I responded. This really happened.”
There was a long pause. Finally, he said, “I think I know!” I eagerly awaited his next remark.
“The people did notice,” he stated. “The thing is this: the customers and the servers, they were too polite! They didn’t want to embarrass you by telling you they had noticed that you were bald the first time not the second.” I was impressed. With only a few words, Tony had solved my problem!
He’s a brilliant fellow, my brother; a little younger than me but a lot smarter!