As an adult, we still look forward to Christmas. Although Santa and I haven’t been into a whole lot of communication in the last few years, I still feel that there’s nothing wrong with sending a list to him (even though it never makes it to the post office). Once year I put together a Christmas list just for him.
Dear Santa: Last year I still didn’t get the million dollars from you. I admit it: it was too much. As a child I kept my lists organized (Fraidy Cats and Forbidden Bridge with the occasional SNES game). This time, I did it again.
1. 20 pounds – would it hurt a behind or two (or thigh) to help a woman out? As much as I love the cable at the gym, it is killing me running for 4 to 5 miles six days a week. And I can only do so many splurges a week.
2. Cooking skills – I don’t want to have to test the smoke detector by setting something on fire again.
3. Really good part to play – I’ve been counted upon now as a drug criminal at least three times for television – something better – the gorgeous love interest? (Although I am grateful for what I have received.)
4. Keep my car from hating me – you know my devastating track record with cars – the Ford is the 6th one for me in 10 years.
5. All gifts I purchased arrive on time for Christmas – I didn’t notice the fine print…Shipping from Taiwan.
6. No Christmas speeding tickets – remember the 96 hour work week last year before traveling?
7. Taming my and Jake’s hair – I really don’t have to say anything else. I’ve already been made fun of for my ten year old straightener (I’m loyal).
8. Get my dryer off of six hour drying times!!! I’ve been eyeballing a new washer and dryer set.
9. Make sure no Christmas cards come back with the words: Return to sender, recipient not at address.
10. Can this last one cover everything I’ve missed in my list? You know, crazy relatives, woman troubles, cleaning, cold weather, no beach in sight, money, government improvement, etc.
So, Santa, everything good to go this year? Good! I finished watching Christmas Vacation and a Christmas Story, so I’m up to date. Excuse me while I practice making pie without the aid of the store and microwave….Please note this also includes my getting sick if item is cooked wrong or burning something again.
P.S. Thank that wonderful couple from Thanksgiving at work that really made my night and put Jake in his nice winter coat after I braved the 2am shoppers from hell of Black Friday and managed to find a parking spot and not get in a brawl with some crazy knife wielding maniac who hasn’t had the chance to meet me yet. Merry Christmas! Tell the reindeer hello for me.