COMMENTARY | At the zenith of my list of New York’s resolutions will be a conscious effort to intensify my obsession with actress bombshell Jennifer Lawrence. Having risen from “The Hunger Games” movie star to suddenly the hottest human being in Hollywood and one of the world’s most beautiful women, I have concluded that 2014 should be the year when I really zero in on her like never before.
None of this should be misconstrued; I’m happily married. But I would like to chase Jennifer down and interview her kicking off the conversation by sharing that last year I developed a wild obsession with Marilyn Monroe. Like Jennifer, Marilyn rose to fantastic fame in the 1950s for being a knockout, dreamy-looking woman and actress. To provide context for Jennifer, I would explain to Jennifer that my fascination with Marilyn erupted after reading a book about baseball star Joe DiMaggio by Richard Ben Cramer titled Joe DiMaggio: The Hero’s Life. The book conveyed many stories about his marriage to Monroe.
The question that gripped me about Marilyn – and that now does about Jennifer – is what it feels like to be a massive movie star who has blond hair, beguiling blue eyes, and exudes wild attractiveness. For Jennifer I have so many more questions: What is it like to know that many men find you stunningly gorgeous? Do you feel as nice-looking at you so obviously are? Is it convenient and an advantage for you to know that virtually any single man you choose to date would be likely to do so? Do you know how attractive you are to men? Do you feel blessed by this? Does it make you feel good about yourself? Odd? Perplexed?
What’s it like to transition from a relatively unknown person about four years ago to being, arguably, the biggest movie star in America and perhaps the world? Has your life changed for the better or worse? What’s it like to suddenly become so wealthy? What is all this fame and fortune doing to your psyche and emotions? Are you getting disillusioned or upset by all this? Do you fear your life spinning out of control the way Marilyn’s did?
Yes, I want to chase down Jennifer in 2014 and ask her about all of this. Although a whacky fantasy, it’s worth pursuing.
Take 73,000 “selfies”
My second wacky fantasy for 2014 is going all-in on the “selfie” phenomenon at a level never before seen. Taking selfies – in case you’re out of the popular trend loop -is when people use their mobile phones or digital cameras to snap pictures of themselves. Narcissism. Though I have hardly ever taken a picture of myself or anyone else using any type of device, this upcoming year I want all that to change, to catapult selfie-taking to a previously unexplored level. Rather than take one or two selfies a day as I suppose the average person does today, I would like to take two-to-three hundred a day. While laborious, this could be interesting and content-rich. I would take selfies of myself waking up, walking to the bathroom, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, watching TV, changing TV channels, ordering at the McDonalds Drive-Thru, ordering at the Wendy’s Drive-Thru, ordering at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru, and ordering at Five Guys. These are my staple joints. But if I for some whimsical reason went to Burger King, I could do the same drill. I would also ask each person serving me at the Drive-Thru to take a few selfies of themselves. This would get my selfie count up more rapidly.
While at work, I would take at least five or ten selfies every day of me typing on my laptop, posting Tweets, dozing off during conference calls, plugging in my smartphone charger, and throwing away paper. In the evenings I would take selfies of me washing my hands before dinner, asking my kids how their day went, walking to the dinner table, putting a napkin on my lap, eating dinner, bringing my plate to the kitchen counter, checking the refrigerator for any good desserts or a gallon of milk to chug.
By my rough calculations, at the end of the year I would have taken 73,000 selfies (200 selfies per day x 365 days = 73,000). At this time next year I would post a Tweet that I took 73,000 selfies in 2014. Of course someone would post a link to a selfie of themselves on Twitter bragging that they posted more.
Escalate my intensity leveraging Tony Robbins seminar
Third on my list of New York’s resolutions: escalate my intensity level. During the recent holiday season one of my siblings told me I am intense. Few compliments please me more than being labeled intense. During 2014 I want to take my intensity level to never-seen-before levels. To get there I plan to sign up for a Tony Robbins week-long seminar. A master inspirational leader and life coach, Robbins exudes unspeakable intensity. I crave some of that to inculcate my soul. At the seminar I want Tony to single out me among the two thousand attendees as the most likely to be the most intense in 2014. I will have dinner with Tony at a McDonalds and tell him that while I have always been impressed with his intensity, I sincerely believe I am more intense. Tony will nod in agreement.