I was struck by something I noticed while reading through some of the thousands of responses to the recent blog post by writer, Matt Walsh, entitled, “You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?” Besides the typical mommy war comments, there were so many thankful posts from stay-at-home moms, singing the praises of not only Walsh, who is a working father of infant twins, but their own husbands as well.
These particular commenters were thankful for husbands who appreciate all that stay-at-home moms do, for their children, their families, their communities and society as a whole. And it struck me, because these men, the ones who are married to stay-at-home moms, who take on the sole responsibility of providing an income for the family so that one parent can stay home with the kids, are so seldom praised by anyone.
Making the decision to stay home
I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I have been since midway through my pregnancy with our 11-year-old twins. We thought that I would go back to work when our twins started kindergarten, but the arrival of our youngest, a preemie with a congenital heart defect, made it necessary for me to stay home longer. My husband never complained. He just did whatever he had to do to make it work.
After our twins finished kindergarten, we decided that homeschooling would best serve their educational needs, but of course, this meant I wouldn’t be returning to the workplace for many more years, if ever. I’ve talked with other homeschooling moms about this decision, and how it impacted their families, and almost without exception they say they couldn’t have ever done it without the full support of their husbands.
My husband is my hero
As much as Walsh sang the praises of his stay-at-home wife, I lift up my husband, without whom our lifestyle would be impossible. Truly, I believe he is the hero of our family. He works so hard, providing for our needs and sacrificing his own time at home so that we can give our kids a stay-at-home parent and an individualized education.
When my husband is home, he gives his time to the family. He prioritizes his spending for our family’s needs rather than his own desires. He invests himself in teaching the children values and giving them positive experiences like working on projects together or just hanging out and having fun. He doesn’t have a lot of buddies, and he never goes out running around with the guys.
More valuable than words can express
So many children today are growing up without fathers. They don’t even know what a good dad really is, and the ones they see on television and movies are often portrayed as clueless buffoons or overbearing monsters. But great fathers, like the ones praised by so many of the stay-at-home moms who responded to Walsh’s blog, are more valuable than words can express.
I appreciate my husband so much for his role in our family. I don’t need him to put me on a pedestal as a stay-at-home mom, and I’m sure he doesn’t need to be put up there, either. But knowing that he respects me, that he appreciates me for what I do, and that he sees value in my work means so much. I value him more than I can say, and I thank God every day for the gift of my husband, because without him being the father he is, I could never be the mom I want to be.
More by Tavia:
I don’t want to have it all; Thanks anyway
Time spent with dad is important to kids
Reading to Your Daughter May Help Prevent Teenage Pregnancy