Sheldon is usually the funniest character in the Big Bang Theory sitcom. Sheldon has a great array of shirts and a sarcastic rapier wit, even if he doesn’t recognize sarcasm. Here are the top 25 quotes from Sheldon Cooper in the first 6 seasons of Big Bang Theory:
25 – I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also it’s really scary. (Season 4 Episode 8)
24 – I need my wrist brace, all this button pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury. (S1E13)
23 – They need to move a big box, Leonard asks: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring. (S1E2)
22 – You’re asking me to use my superior intellect in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish? (S1E13)
21 – I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you has given me a great deal of satisfaction.(S1 E20)
20 – I’m sorry but I’m not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I’ve seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended. (S2, E8)
19 – Leonard asks: Who sells a full-sized time machine for $800?
Sheldon: In a vent diagram that would be an individual located within the intersection of the sets “no longer want my time machine” and “need $800”
18 – Penny says: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn’t go so far as to forbid it.
17 – I’m not going to say I told you so… But we could have killed him. (S5 E11)
16 – All games are made up. They’re not found in nature. You don’t just dig in the ground, come across a rich vein of Rock’em Sock’em Robots. (S6, E4)
15 – Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don’t you think that if I were wrong, I’d know it? (S3E2)
14 – For the record, I do have genitals. They’re functional and aesthetically pleasing. (S5E1)
13 – Amy asks Sheldon how he got into her apartment. Sheldon replies: Wow, is that the kind of nagging I should expect now that you’re my girlfriend? (S5 E10)
12 – A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies “for you, no charge”
11 – After they can’t figure out the card trick, Penny says: “No big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun!” Sheldon: ‘Not knowing is part of the fun.’ Was that the motto of your community college? (S4 E18)
10 – And here is my Justice League membership card, but that doesn’t prove I know Batman. (S4E7)
9 – Penny: Sheldon, have you ever told Amy what it was like for you growing up in Texas?
Penny: Well, why don’t you tell her?
Sheldon: All right! (to Amy) It was hell!
8 – A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary. (S2E13)
7 – Penny asks “Who’s Adam West?”
Sheldon: Who’s Adam West! Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
6 – After Raj says he doesn’t like bugs, Sheldon says: Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
5 – Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors. (Season 2)
4 – So, just to clarify, when you say 3, do we stand up or do we pee? (Season 3 Episode 17)
3 – After being thrown in jail, Sheldon turns to the biggest guy in the cell, sitting on a bench and says: “That’s my spot.” (S3 E16)
2 – What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don’t you understand? (Season 2 E13)
1 – “I am not crazy. My mother had me tested.”
Bonus Extras: That’s going to make me a chick magnet and I’m so busy as it is! (S4E20)
Good night. And if there’s an apocalypse, good luck. (S3E21)
Bazinga! Those are the best Sheldon lines from the first 6 seasons of the Big Bang Theory. If I forgot any, write them on a $20 bill and send them in the mail. Disclaimer: That’s a joke, don’t do that!
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