Those who go searching for clues to figure out if their boyfriend really wants to get married already know the answer. They have nagging doubts, and for very good reason. Maybe he displayed insincerity in the past, or maybe he is not a man of his word. In any case, it is important to have clear and honest communication to maintain a healthy relationship. No one should have to play guessing games when it comes to matters of the heart. Do not give your guy an ultimatum, but do not let him string you along. If his motives are selfish, he will say whatever it is that he thinks you want to hear in order to keep you on the hook. Pose a few questions when the time is right. You can figure out once and for all if he wants to marry you or if he is using you for his self-seeking agenda.
Consider the Timing
Timing is everything when trying to tell if a boyfriend really wants to marry you. If marriage was mentioned just before you planned to end the relationship, take a giant step back. After realizing that you were slipping away, he might have tried to reel you back in with false hope. A man who wants to marry his true love does not wait until everything is falling apart to suggest marriage. If he did not propose when all was well, consider his motives before playing his emotional game. A roller coaster relationship will eventually come to a sudden stop. Even if he is sincere, marriage will not fix relationship problems or the mental health of those in need of counseling.
Where is the Ring?
It does not cost anything to look at rings, and when a boyfriend is not serious about marriage, looking is likely all he will ever do. Talk is cheap, and selfish boyfriends are even cheaper. He will attempt to keep your hopes up by going through the motions, but he will not spend a dime. He will use excuse after excuse in an effort to avoid making a monetary commitment. After all, he knows that he would not get back a tenth of what he spent if he had to return the ring(s) to the store. He might be entertaining the thought of marriage, but with no intent to follow through.
Putting the Cart before the Horse
As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Sometimes inaction speaks even louder. If you suspect empty promises, carefully consider the situation. Is he saying what you want to hear in an effort to get you to stay? An insincere boyfriend might try to put the cart before the horse, but only in conversation. Talking about a fairytale honeymoon is not a promise to wed. On the contrary, it is a way to keep your hopes up while he decides if the relationship will even work long-term. Remind him that a honeymoon will not take place without a marriage. Do not waste your time looking up honeymoon destinations. Pretending is for children, and fairy tales are for the deluded. Next time he brings up a honeymoon, mention your nonexistent wedding plans. If he does not want to marry you, he will change the subject quicker than you can say Sanibel Island.
Unwillingness to Contact the Clergy
If you plan to marry in a church, it will be necessary to make plans with the clergy before a wedding can take place. Catholics who are wanting to get married must take a marriage preparation class that lasts about six months. To find out if your boyfriend really wants to tie the proverbial knot, ask him to contact the clergy. If classes are required, you do not have to schedule a wedding date, and you do not have to possess a ring – at least not yet. If he is unwilling to talk to the clergy, he was not sincere about marriage.
If your boyfriend is a commitment phoebe, seek counseling or move on to greener pastures. Consider taking some much needed time for yourself before entering another relationship. More importantly, do not fall back into the old one. Even those who go to counseling do not completely change. Just like true love, character flaws are everlasting.
Source: Empty Promises of a Commitment Phoebe